Feelings are meant to be ridiculous

Head

2012-01-16T17:48:00.002+08:00

While approaching a backwards facing seat on the bus today, I knocked my head against the ceiling of the bus.

The guy sitting opposite me smiled at me after I said rather loudly, a very annoyed ouch. I think he was stifling his laughter.

You have no idea how often I bang my head against the extremely low ceilings on buses. I knocked my head against the ceiling at least once every day back in Korea. And pei would proceed to comment "see lah so tall for what".

But. I am not tall.

I suppose my head is just extremely excited to meet a new bus ceiling. Sigh. My head relationship with bus ceilings is exactly like how preston is with incoming bicycles/cyclists. Why like that.

Prelims are coming up too. Sigh, stress stress here I come. Library, library here I come too.

I've only bought a top and a pair of shoes for this cny. But so many damn places to go. How now brown cow.

Going to bugis less than a week away from cny is an extremely daunting thought. The crowd is going to be insane.

I am aware that this is an extremely pointless post.

Sigh.

Things

2012-01-09T23:03:00.003+08:00

Things are not always the way it seems.

Have to stop giving two shits about things that don't reciprocate.

Owes

2011-12-18T19:03:00.002+08:00

My brother introduced me to a young girl's blog. Apparently she's causing a drama up on facebook but then again I don't have a facebook account so....yeah. Out of curiosity (and that I have an attention span as long as a baby beetle when it comes to completing my finance assignment haiz), I checked out her blog.

The horror of the twit language the younger..kids are coming up with nowadays.

"why happiness owes far from me??"
- a blog post heading of hers

Took me awhile to realize it too.

Owes = Always

WTF
WTF
WTF
WTF

Unbelievable.

Sick

2011-12-09T18:46:00.002+08:00

Okay rather pointless but I just feel the need to type something in this space.

Nothing's been up recently. Life's pretty boring with school
Ha ha. We were also being extremely twin-ny throughout. We (almost) bought the same shoes. We both bought the same pants (same colour too). And we both bought watches. So lovey dovey ikr.

Oh and also, have you ever looked forward to something so so soooo very much that as the date inches nearer you start to feel...anxiety and nervousness and a tinge of dread almost. I'm not too sure if it's driven by the fear of it not living up to my expectations or whatever. Hmmm.

And on another side note, 我不想要一个很现实的友情。我们的年龄也不小了。说老实话，我实在很没有心情去挽回一段大家都曾经很尽力去挽救的友情。说我狠心也好，说我不顾往日的情分也好，但是我知道大家都挣扎了很久，才做出现在的选择。

什么是很现实的友情？
就是有事的时候找你，没事的时候就把你丢在一旁。

我不想，也没有多余的精神投资在一个很现实的友情。
人，也只能原谅另外一个人N次。
不重要的人，就更加少过N次了。

哎。

Damn

2011-11-24T22:58:00.003+08:00

Wei shen me wei shen me wei shen me wei shen me?

Things always turn out...drastically different from what I made them up to be in my brain and now I feel terribly foolish to even let myself run with that idea as far as I did. I don't believe in erasing things I've done but I'm damn good at pretending I didn't do it. So... I'm going to pretend that I've never let my thoughts gone as ridiculously out of track as they did.

Did.

Damn reality hits hard after having a whole night of sugar rush.

Aziatix

2011-11-21T18:46:00.006+08:00

How mad sexy and gorgeous is Eddie Shin??? And his vocals is just like. Mad sick.

I've never been a fan of guys with silky long tresses but damn. I might just have a crush on a dude in my accounting class because of Eddie lah (dude's got long tresses too. Not so sure about it being silky though. Ha ha.)

Long sexy flowing tresses \m/

Office Girls Part 2

2011-11-21T15:58:00.003+08:00

Just a short post. I'm addicted to this show and.......I MAD HATE THIS CHARACTER. ZHENG KAI ER. Walau she super scheming and cunning and evil please!!!111!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

P.S/ Ah Lee if you are seeing this show, TEXT ME PLEASE. I need someone to gossip the show with leh!!!!!

P.P.S/ Everyone else please go and watch the show leh!!!!!!! PEI WO!!! :( I'm at episode 9 going 10 still can CATCH UP! :)

Immortals

2011-11-20T14:31:00.006+08:00

Whoa another week has passed. Another hectic, hectic, very hectic week. (Officially on the 1 month countdown of my Korea trip!!!!!)

Monday- School/Give tuition
Tuesday- Mugged the whole day
Wednesday- School/Give tuition
Thursday- School
Friday- Packed my room
Saturday- Work + Movie after work

Never gonna catch another movie after a full day of helping small kids try on uniforms and counting stocks amidst dust bugs spiders and other insects. Tired like fuck man.

Okay actually Saturday wasn't as bad as last week's, much of my fatigue can be attributed to me packing my room and doing a mini revamp to my table, shelves and dresser.

Ha ha. My room is really in a ridiculously disgusting state for a girl man. My JC notes are covered in a thick layer of dust, yellowing papers dated back when I was Primary 1, rubber bands that have melted, rusty paper clips, files strewed all over the floor, jeans that have not been wash after n amount of times, towels everywhere...

I'm surprised that I took only one day to clear my room! :) One long arduous day no doubt.

Accomplishments: I can finally see the surface of my desk and the bottom of my floor.

:) Oh on a side note, everyone should go watch Immortals. I had my doubts regarding like...ancient Greek mythology related things mostly because I am not interested. And like 300 B.C fighting scenes...sounds a bit lame.

I WAS WRONG. Damn. Immortals is super epic.

Okay no is was mostly because Henry Cavill is damn fucking hot and I was making sounds of appreciation like "Whoaaaaaaa" "Hmpfffffffssssst" whenever he was topless.

Which was actually most of the show.

Ha ha ha G elbowed me like at least 3 times accompanied with "Meishan eh you enough already ah!"

Okay! This is all. Gonna enjoy the last few hours of my Sunday sob sob weekends always end so quickly :( :( :(

Office Girls

2011-11-17T17:43:00.002+08:00

Am currently addicted to this taiwan drama called 小資女孩向前衝 (Office Girls). Fucking hilarious! And well......maybe because 邱澤 is the main male lead and I saw a snippet of the show's trailer last night and he's damn handsome...? He he he.

Sidetracking, I didn't realize that 邱澤's the same actor who acted in 福氣又安康! The motorcycle riding gangster with the braids and all. I had a major crush on that character lor!!! Good looking gangsters are kinda my...weakness.

Cui right I know. Ha ha.

Okay just in case there are doubts about 邱澤 being handsome, I swear he really is. REALLY. I've got pictures to prove!!!!! *defensive*

HANDSOME RIGHT.

Ha ha. Okay I shall return back to watching 小資女孩向前衝. There's this manager character of the sales department who's damnnnn funny.

"Let me see see!"

HA HA HA HA HA

Success

2011-11-11T16:38:00.003+08:00

My school's newsletter editor has such humor. Really.

Here's the greeting for their online newsletter subscription (I did not subscribe, but I reckon they are wanting me to). Oh, btw, they call this online thingy inter@ctive. Not quite sure why they used @ instead of a.

Dear Mei Shan,

Be part of our inner circle of success. Renew your 2012 Membership and enjoy attractive renewal gifts!

LOL INNER CIRCLE OF SUCCESS.

I need to start incorporating this phrase into my daily conversations. Makes my social status level up like 1000 times over.

That's all for now. I need to return to my inner circle of success.

HA HA HA HA HA.
xx

Do Ya

2011-11-09T23:40:00.003+08:00

Ha ha ha ha this is soOoOooOoo true.

The first time I've ever read a lot more into a song than I should have did at that time was.....Do ya by McFly.

I MEAN C'MON. The lyrics went like...

Do ya do ya do ya love me
Do ya need a little time?
Do ya do ya do ya want me
Oh to hold you when you cry

Do ya do ya do ya do ya love me
Don't want to hear you say maybe
Won't you tell me do you love me?
Coz I wanna know

Right? Right. Lol.

So of course it was indeed me reading too much into the song recommended to me cause it fizzled into a pool of friend zone nothingness. Ha ha. Guess this doesn't just happen to me yeah can I get a whut whuuut *raises hands to the roof action smchkthingy*

Can you tell I'm bored?

Unlucky

2011-11-06T22:50:00.003+08:00

Oh ya and I forgot to mention how extremely unlucky I've been, it's not even funny. I'm not talking about like an unlucky day or something (I could deal with that), but it's like a series of unfortunate and totally ridiculous events that are being spread out throughout days :(

1) My laptop's adapter died. Like out of no where it died. I was still using it the previous night please!!

2) I mysteriously lost my EZ-link card. Okay to give myself credit this is the first adult version I lost. Ha ha the previous 3/4 times were all student versions. WHICH IS WHY :( Cause you cannot get back the money from the lost card if it's the adult one.

3) My dad spilled soy bean on my ipod and then decided to give it a quick wash under running water. Why he did that still baffles me till now. I didn't even get angry or anything. Too depressed for words.

4) I feel a sore throat coming up.

GOOD LUCK WHERE ARE YOU?

Perhaps a good laugh over funny pictures (I've developed a habit of saving them ha ha very loser I know) would do me some good.

(P.S/ Halfway through this post a baby lizard decides to come round and say hi. Weiwei, the lizard 向你问好 leh. Lol.)

Leave before the lights come on

2011-11-06T20:52:00.002+08:00

Quick meet up with Pei on Friday cause I needed to compare winter coats (to make sure I wouldn't freeze to death there).

I skillfully hid my squeals of anticipation and wondrous fantasies of Korea but deep down inside I was doing my secret delirious-looking happy dance. Which kinda looks like a hybrid of the running man on steroids and the maori haka. Lol. MAD EXCITED I CANNOT WAIT.

Decided to pop by Galindo's birthday chalet cause we were nearby and were greeted with a scene of...party boys trying to dunk G into the big green trash bin thingy. Ha ha. I think boys will never grow out of trying to throw the birthday boy into the rubbish bin and tao pok-ing. And gushing about how sexy Hyuna's bubble pop MV is. Lol.

To be honest, I would have stayed till the wee hours of the morning that night if wasn't for my schedule the next day. Haven't had so much fun in such a long time, it almost surprises me how this night is spent with a bunch of people I knew for less than 3 hours.

Highlights of the night have to be A's very very determined attempt at dancing to Hyuna's bubble pop, B and I escaping a very epic dare because of our fast reflexes, and...watching the very epic dare of J/G dry humping a tree.

And not to forget stone reminiscing his secondary one moments of sitting beside me and Fadli. The shoelaces tied to chair leg incident is just too funny. Ha ha ha ha.

Oh and a one liner I couldn't get out of my head since that night, "I swear to all the Gods. I swear to all the Gods in the Hindu religion.", in a desperate attempt to convince someone to change his card in a game of Indian poker.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Time has passed by so quickly, I couldn't even remember when was the last time a big bunch of people our age (I cannot think of an appropriate term to address us. What's in between teens and adults?) could gather around, have a good time, and the whole night was alcohol free.

Twas truly a very very enjoyable night. :)

Maybe because it was with a whole bunch of people I didn't knew, hence it was like a "Heck it it's only for tonight anyway" moment. Hmm, maybe.

Quick, let's leave, before the lights come on,
'Cos then you don't have to see,
'Cos then you don't have to see,
What you've done,

Girls

2011-10-29T15:16:00.002+08:00

Girls will be girls. Whenever we have problems bugging our minds or have matters weighing our hearts down, we'd find our girlfriends or a close friend to talk it out. Ask for advice or just ranting aimlessly, knowing that someone is there to listen and someone gives a shit about it. But my ego's standing in the way and I'm just too damn prideful to let my guard down and approach anyone first. I don't know how to start talking about it, how to express it, how to draw illustrations and give examples or how to explain it. So even if I'd really want to talk about it, I have no idea how to. Still keeping up? Ha ha. Every time I even attempt to talk about what's bugging me..I kinda just slip away halfway and drop the conversation cause it's so taxing to explain. Every problem I mention kinda just...fizzles away into nothingness. As in nothing else is mentioned in the conversation anymore. HAIYA. Kinda like now. Cause I don't know how to continue this rant-post.

Pride and ego. Damn.

Monotone

2011-10-29T00:35:00.005+08:00

Life has been so monotonous it's festering into an illness within me. Serious. It's like I get so frustrated with every single damn thing and then for that few moments when I am with company, I snap out of that funk. But once it's late and I'm alone....damn I get frustrated alllll over again.

Maybe it's just a monthly phase that I go through. Ha ha. Cannot fucking wait for the Korea trip man. Serious berious. (Oh and sidetracking winter clothes' prices are through the damn roof. So damn expensive my goodness.)

So in a desperate attempt to make myself feel better... I went to surf for funny videos and photos. Like I was fo' real searching "Funny commercials" on youtube. Lol.

^ You'll understand this if you watch too much Jersey Shore. Ha ha. Ya la ya la I'm guilty of that.

^ HA HA HA HA this is the best man. Really really cracked me up.

Here's to my mood getting better and to a better week ahead at school. Hope no one's being a bitch about anything and that my thoughts are kept on track.

Chased

2011-10-26T20:14:00.003+08:00

Airport's coffee bean very 没有人情味。

Me and huihui were gone for lunch and then when we came back, (to our horror) our seats were occupied by some random couple and our bags were no where to be found.

Turns out they decided to pack whatever there was on our table, put it in a basket, and clear the table for other people to sit :(

(Okay lah granted we left for lunch for >1 hour... Lol. I guess we kinda had it coming for us.)

Me: *Picking up our stuff from the basket*
Hui: Aiya just take the whole basket away only. Since they chase us out.

HA HA HA HA major hilarious please. Imagine if we really took the basket away. Actually, it wasn't even a proper basket. It was more like a plastic crate for them to store cartons of milk or what not.

LIBRARY, Y YOU NO OPEN TODAY????

:(

Jensen

2011-10-23T20:15:00.009+08:00

Am watching Supernatural for a couple of days now. Plot's amazing and it doesn't hurt that the main characters are gob-smacking-ly good looking. Especially Dean Winchester (played by Jensen Ackles). Nothing sexier than 2 good looking dudes hunting after demons and monsters and doing a kick-ass job at it huh. Ha ha.

And c'mon his twitter's self-intro thingy says "Actor from Supernatural and Happily married". Swoon please so romantic.

Oh ya side note. In the show he looks kinda..short beside Sam Winchester (played by Jared Padalecki). I was curious about how tall he is so I went to google his height. Turns out, he's not short at all. Ha ha.

Jared's just way too freaking tall. So..Jensen = 183cm and Jared = 193cm. No wonder. Would be amazing if my boyfriend were to be so tall! Like instant swoon please the height.

Okay back to Supernatural marathon. And Gangland too. I wonder how long my weird taste in shows is gonna last.

Oh and am heading up to Jurong East tomorrow. Fingers crossed I won't get lost. xx

Caffine

2011-10-22T05:59:00.003+08:00

I just enjoyed an all-night marathon of Gangland (what's new), MBLAQ's funny moments (really fucking hilarious my cheeks are sore from laughing), and other random videos.

Xian zai yi jing shi liu dian le.

Who wanna help me take over and teach tuition this afternoon? Confirm tired as fuck.

Need. To. Stop. Drinking. Coffee. During. Evening.

Slip trippin

2011-10-22T01:36:00.002+08:00

Super embarrassing moment on the bus when I was on my way home.

I kinda slip-tripped my way down the mini flight of stairs on the bus. It was 11.40pm and the bus was fucking quiet and my instant reaction to my slip-trip was "OH MUMMY. *pause* Shit."

And then the traffic light decided to turn red while I soak in all the stares and awkward silence smothered in embarrassment while trying to look like cool. Slip-trip? What slip-trip you talking bout?

Lol I managed to maintain my cool without further embarrassing myself before I got off. Longest 40 seconds of my life.

Pitbull

2011-10-20T16:05:00.004+08:00

I AM ON A SEARCH. I was watching some youtube video about pitbull (the rapper)....and then I thought about something I've never seen.

PITBULL WITH HAIR.

Like hair-hair. Not his shorter than crew cut whose hairstyle name escapes me at the moment. Like with a full head of hair a la

(Yes this photo was chosen intentionally for my liking)

I tried googling "pitbull with hair" but other than normal photos of pitbull (without hair), the rest were all...well, pitbulls (the dog breed).

So if you happen to chance upon a photo of pitbull with hair longer than

this, tell me okay?

I am honestly curious about how he looks with a head full of hair. Honest monest.

Braindead

2011-10-19T02:05:00.002+08:00

I really shouldn't drink coffee past 5pm. Man I'm still awake.

Weird thoughts running through my brain right now.
1) I want to wear a dress. Just cause it would be just 1 garment I have to decide on instead of a couple of garments.
2) But I will feel very exposed in dresses leh. Especially with my automatic sitting position. Ha ha.
3) I think I would consider wearing them to school once I find a decent piece.
4) I am really very awake now. Luckily my lesson is 330pm tomorrow.
5) Should I continue with tuition lessons tomorrow? But I'll have to start on Sec 2 stuff leh. Dreading.
6) I am planning my Korea trip's outfits. Ha ha ha I know I super kiasu. (My trip's in Dec btw) BUT I CANNOT WAIT SIAL. SUPER EXCITED.
7) My brain is not functioning now despite my lethargy.
8) Laptop's left with <5% batt life. Thank you laptop for lasting till I finish this post.

Wallaby

2011-10-19T01:02:00.002+08:00

Skipped lessons for the day just to send belly off at the airport. SAF really very rich, India for _weeks and then Australia for 6 weeks in a year. Like what weiwei said “当兵当到可以一直出国很好命leh.”

Ha ha I agree. So belly, you should feel better about your trip okay. Don’t sulk in front of hot ang moh girls. Not attractive.

The decision to skip lessons was rather abrupt too, considering that I only got the news of him flying off today on Sunday.

Pres: You know that Abel flying off tmr?
Me: WHAT? I don’t know.
Pres: You suck.

Ha ha failure as a friend on my part.

And then the day morphed into a very random and spontaneous one.

I was texting ger about something when she asked if I wanted to head over to her house after sending belly off. And so I went and spent a very warm and humid afternoon at her place. (Weather’s fucking erratic nowadays I swear.) Slacked till around 5pm when weiwei called “Tonight you free?” Ha ha. And then my evening was spent at the airport studying till 11.50pm.

Spontaneous right? I like spontaneity amongst close friends.

The 6 weeks long gap without belly didn’t really sink into me up till now. 6 weeks is gonna be a long time, no wonder the boy’s sulking all the way till moments before he stepped into the departure hall. As usual, hugs were given and goodbyes were said.

Bel: I’ll see you guys in 6 weeks k. Don’t miss me too much. Gah.
Me: Very fast can come home alr lah. Don’t worry too much okay. Love you a lot a lot!
Bel: 6 weeks leh. Haha okay love you too I lazy to make the heart ok. (<< Y LIKE THIS ONE)
Me: Fast one really. Go there see hot ang moh girls then time will pass faster than you think it would.
Bel: No let the ang moh girls see me. :)
Me: Haha let them get lucky for 6 weeks :)

Ha ha ha seems like he didn’t forget to bring his big ass ego along with him to Australia. See ya in 6 weeks belly jelly. Time’s gonna fly pass so fast, we wouldn’t even notice you’re gone. Swear.

Xx

(Btw, Taylor’s Swift’s Sparks Fly is stuck in my brain now. It’s not always that I have a song stuck in me. But this song is addictive leh.)

Baby I'm Yours

2011-10-15T21:49:00.006+08:00

How amazingly romantic is this song right here. :') I want this playing at my wedding if I ever get married.

Baby, I'm yours (baby, I'm yours)
And I'll be yours (yours) until the stars fall from the sky,
Yours (yours) until the rivers all run dry
In other words, until I die

Baby, I'm yours (baby, I'm yours)
And I'll be yours (yours) until the sun no longer shines,
Yours (yours) until the poets run out of rhyme
In other words, until the end of time

I'm gonna stay right here by your side,
Do my best to keep you satisfied
Nothin' in the world can drive me away
'Cause every day, you'll hear me say

Baby, I'm yours (baby, I'm yours)
And I'll be yours (yours) until two and two is three,
Yours (yours) until the mountain crumbles to the sea
In other words, until eternity

Baby, I'm yours
'Til the stars fall from the sky
Baby, I'm yours
'Til the rivers all run dry
Baby, I'm yours
'Til the sun no longer shines
Baby, I'm yours
'Til the poets run out of rhyme
(fade out)

Magix

2011-10-15T18:05:00.003+08:00

Went on a dinner date with ger yesterday. Finally ventured out of our usual routine of putien/teppanyaki and met at Bugis! Had some atas Japanese food at Iluma which I suppose is really authentic cause there were a group of Japanese businessmen sitting behind us (quite good looking also ha ha they look like Gatsby models).

Had Mentaiko with potato and cheese after hearing about it for the longest time. Not too bad! Scallops were at the other end of the spectrum though. Pathetically small in size. When they served it up I said "Ha ha this is not scallops lor. More like hnr pia (fish cakes)".

We also had some..rice thingy that was cooked in front of us in some rich broth in a wooden pail thingy. I know I made it sound extremely un-appetizing but it's surprisingly good! Had free flow green tea which ger graciously commented "Walau this one si eh pai lim lor". Ha ha ha she asked for a glass of iced water like 3 seconds after receiving her iced green tea.

Exchanged seKretS about my school/social life to which ger rolled her eyes at my recent interest. Ha ha ha.

Me: Okay so I tell you ah there's this ___ that I have right... I say first ah, ___ does not look _______ at all so you cannot laugh ok!!!!
Ger: *rolls eyes* 你觉得我有可能不会笑吗？
Me: 你已经看准就算你笑我也会跟你说 right. :(
Ger: Ya. Ha ha just say lah.

Talked about matters that were..conflicting and bothersome also, to which she mentioned a point that I haven't really thought about at all. Ever since she brought up that point, I've been feeling less conflicted about the whole thing. Puts everything in a much clearer and objective perspective for me I guess.

Went over to Bugis Junction to walk off our dinner (and also to finish drinking our Koi). Book hunting was a failure even though I did picked up Patrick Süskind's The Pigeon along the way. But still no Dawn Porter :(( The Pigeon was surprisingly thin though, like in comparison to Perfume(also by Patrick Süskind).

Perfume used to be my favourite! Until Everything is Illuminated took over. Which reminds me, I still have not finished reading the book. Sibei jialat I still cannot bring myself to finish it after so long. It's like the magic of the book is going to end once I officially finish reading. And no, re-reading the book would not revive the magic. It's just...different! Maybe I'll just re-read the book from the start instead of forcing myself to finish it. A desperate attempt to preserve my own imaginary "magic" of my fave book. Ha ha. Ikr. My anal and eccentric book worm habits.

Bought watches together to which ger said "Walau 几岁了你可以学看 analog 的手表吗!!!" OKAY. IN MY DEFENSE I KNOW HOW TO TELL TIME ON AN ANALOG WATCH HOR!!!! Just that I prefer not to cause I'm a tad slower than other people and then I get very nervous whenever it's _:40 or _:45 because I SOMEtimes get it wrong. SOME. So there you have...101 reasons why I still prefer to wear digital watches. Lol.

Was on our way to the MRT station when...guess who we saw! Janus and Wenyong! Whassup whassup man. It was like super random and unexpected please. Ha ha. Trained home and it was PDA overload on the train with 2 giraffes shamelessly caressing each other. Really. Buey. Tahan. The train was fucking packed they die die still want to cuddle. WHY LIKE THAT!!!

Tsk tsk. And so...that was all. A once in a blue moon interesting Friday night that I had. Ha ha.

Ending off abruptly now.
xx

Juan

2011-10-10T21:40:00.002+08:00

小梁，

(Okay to be honest I really tried to type this in Chinese to show that I very got ink. But as you know, my Chinese (typed or written) has been cui all the while. So I use English ah.)

I know your internship has been tough, and honestly from the bottom of my heart I feel really bad that I am unable to do or say anything comforting other than "It's gonna be over soon", every time I hear about your office drama or a really too-much incident that took place.

All I know how to do when faced with immensely tough situations is to confide a lot in close friends and then subsequently try my hardest to avoid facing the problem up front while y'all try to catch me and from running away and nag me into finding the balls to make a decision. Lol. But you are different. You are strong. You almost never break down in public, swallowing everything inside because you feel that there is no point in causing more drama, afraid that the extra drama would worsen the situation. 很多事情，你宁愿自己扛。Including a lot of the hardships you face during work. All the Thursday nights spent at the bus stop just talking about random stuff, I can't help but see the lethargy in your face. You used to be more fervent in your work-related complaints..but through the months you've quieten down and just swallow it all in. Maybe it's cause you know more complaining wouldn't change the situation so you'd rather just not think about it after working hours. Yet, you would still always listen to my nonsense. Ha ha. My boring school life and the little interesting things I share.

Okay I digress. The point is, it is all going to end soon and no matter how your internship has affected you, it is an experience. Life is all about experiences. Some are harder to go through than the others, some will make you doubt your passion, some will make you question what will happen in the future. There is no date line into making a decision about your future. And if you ever feel bothered or stressed up about the future...text/call me :) I'll try my best to make you feel better.

好不好啊周太？

哎哟，不错哦!

Ha ha. And yes, you can make it. 15 more days only.

Blank

2011-10-09T04:12:00.002+08:00

Accompanied my grandma to the market on Friday. We were picking out vegetables when...

Vendor: 哇这个是你的姐姐啊？

Me: 哈哈哈。我的婆婆啦。

Vendor: 我知道啦，开玩笑而已。小妹你有没有男朋友？

Me: 没有 leh.

Vendor: 要不要做我的孙媳妇？

What a way to help his grandson pick girls up. The uncle has a good sense of humor. Ha ha ha.

Alone for awhile now.. Enjoying every single minute of it :) Days when you can go do whatever, whenever you feel like it. Days when I can spend hours in the same shop trying on different outfits. When you can abandon your phone for the whole day just cause you feel like it. Drama free days. No emotional roller-coaster rides. Going to new places alone. Not needing to coordinate schedules. Browsing through book stores for hours. (Boys seem to really really hate book stores yknow. The only time I've been in one for >30 mins with a boy is with bel and pres. And that was because we needed to kill time before a movie. Lol.) Fun and precious me-time.

I'm actually quite impressed with how comfortable I've gotten with myself. I know, it sounds stupid, but I've never been.. in touch with the whole go-out-alone concept. I would constantly need company, a friend, or whatever. Just someone to accompany me to get errands done. But ever since I've gravitated to the whole alone/independent lifestyle, and have gotten very good at it too. Ha ha, I am surprised how fast time burns through when I'm out shopping alone. They say good times pass by fast, so me-time = good time. I'm actually quite disappointed that I didn't get to shop at Rivervale mall because I was stuck in traffic and had to rush for tuition lor :( SIAN. But I still get takeouts though. I mean, I have no problems eating alone lah just that the place has to have a very minimal crowd. I feel extremely awkward if I'm in a room full of strangers for too long.

I guess the only down side is that no one is available to accompany me catch a horror flick anymore :( Really people, WATCH HORROR MOVIES WITH ME LEH. HAIYA.

Okay it's 4.30am in the morning and I still couldn't get to bed. To think that I felt like death in the afternoon. Dammit stupid body clock!!!! Get back to normal will ya.

Once again, dreading the thought of doing homework later on. Sucks balls.

Private, finally

2011-10-05T21:14:00.002+08:00

www.strangeranotherjust.wordpress.com

Still tampering about the new domain. All private posts will go there I suppose. Stuff I don't really want to let anybody but myself know about. So if I didn't tell you...don't ask.

Nightmare

2011-10-05T12:12:00.003+08:00

I've been having extremely weird dreams for the past 2 days and last night's one was the most terrifying one.

I dreamt that my girlfriends (pei wei min ger) were sitting on the floor of the corridor outside my lecture theater waiting for me. When I saw them, weiwei asked me "你最怕什么？" I answered "Frogs lor." After I answered her, she smirked and then took out a fat ugly disgusting frog from behind her back and threw it at me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF!!!!!!!!!!! I was so scared that I just stood there rooted to the ground (not gonna happen irl I'm gonna run for my life if that were to happen). Then later pei, ah lee and ger also took out frogs and threw them at me :((((

I was so freaking scared walau you have no idea. I just stood there while frogs were like jumping all around me with their flabby green bodies ewwwWWWwwww. They proceeded to take out more frogs and wanted to throw them at me when I said "够了 hor".

They just laughed at what I said and were preparing to throw more frogs at me :((( So I walked up to the nearest person (I think it was ah lee) and flipped her off the parapet at the edge of the corridor. Then I continued to flip all my other friends over the building. Lol.

But when I looked down the building to see if they are dead/hurt, I realize that they were all just dangling at the sides of the building. Weiwei looked at my perplexed expression and said "我们又绑 safety harness hehehe"

:( And then I woke up in fear and sweat and cold feet and what not.

I don't know what was scarier. Frogs being thrown at me or me actually flipping all my friends off the building.

Please weiwei do not throw frogs at me ok :(((

Gangland Part 2

2011-10-03T22:50:00.002+08:00

Homg after 3 days of having Gangland marathons... I thought that I've been desensitized to gang violence. Cause every other episode they would normally just tell you how they shoot and kill snitches (people who tell on them), beat people up violently, sell drugs and do prostitution...blah blah. It's kinda typical among all the gangs so it does get a bit normal after a few episodes.

Until this episode. My goodness it's like the realization of saw (the movie), but with much less...理智。

So one inmate made some homemade alcohol in his cell and got a few of his friends (also inmates) drunk. They jumped on a prison guard and took away his cell keys, proceeded to unlock every other cell and free all their fellow inmates, and then took all the guards (that they could catch) hostage.

Soon a full scale riot was taking place with like 1,100 inmates running freely around the prison. They went to the prison pharmacy first and started taking pills. Once they were all high on drugs, that's when the murdering started.

They found themselves welding torches that were left from maintenance men and used those to get to other prison inmates who were housed in protective custody. These 'special' inmates were separated from the majority because they would constantly get beaten or face a high risk of being stabbed/killed ah. They were all snitches, rapists, pedophiles and what not.

So...one inmate who was participating in this riot saw one of those 'special' inmates decapitated, his head being as a bowling ball and then later being stuck a broom stick and paraded down the prison hallway. He also saw inmates with screwdrivers being stuck through their ears and eyes, inmates being burnt till, in his own words "black-black, crisp, charred up".

The prison guard was bringing the filming crew around the prison to show them where it took place, and he opened a particular cell and said..

"This inmate was either doing time for rape, child abuse , or he was a snitch. *points to the floor with a big black patch* There's the inmate."

They apparently took him out of his cell and burnt him into the floor using welding torches. And if this wasn't the worst, you have to remember that there isn't just ONE cell. So the neighbouring inmate had to hear his neighbour being killed, and anticipate his own death because they were going down the line. Imagine the terror.

The prison guard also showed the shooting crew axe marks on the floor, where they were cutting up the inmate. They would cut off an arm, cut off a foot, cut off an ear, and because they had welding torches, they would then cauterize (burn the skin to stop it from bleeding) the part where they chopped to stop him from bleeding to death. This way they could keep him alive for 3 days to mete out more torture.

33 inmates were killed, 90 others were beaten and raped, and it took the state police and national guards 36 hours to regain control of the whole situation. Police said that the brutality of the homicides they saw were worst than those they saw when they were serving time at Vietnam.

My goodness. If this is not gruesome I don't know what is. And I can take gruesome stuff quite well. Very fierce.

Saw seems almost...insignificant compared to this episode of Gangland. And I quite enjoy Saw (the movie) lor.

Fierce.

Gangland

2011-10-03T03:53:00.003+08:00

Is it weird of me to marathon Gangland series?

It's like a documentary about the different gangs in America. So far... my top 3 favourite gangs are...

1) Norteños - A Latino gang.

This gang is damn bad ass please. The senior gang members in jail actually nurtured the younger members (also in jail) by imposing a strict regiment of working out, educating them about gang laws, and....asking them to visit the library as frequently as possible. Serious. The inmate interviewed said that he was told to read Sun Tze, Mao Zedong, biographies of political leaders and all. O.O Oh and plus they have a really catchy rap tune which advocates the gang. The tune is still stuck in my head.

2) Pagan's Motorcycle Club

Also very bad ass. All the members owns a Harley-Davidson with a minimum engine force of 900cc...and they are just very very angry violent, intimidating looking men. Like big blocks of raging violence ready to just lash out on you anytime. Their preferred weapon of choice is usually an bat of some sorts, so they just aim for the head and whack your skull to smithereens. Ha ha I just find the image of intimidating looking men on Harley-Davidsons very bad ass. Imagine 50 of those riding on the highway. Right?

2) Ñetas (Ne-a-tas) - Puerto Rican Gang

This gang is probably one of my favourite. They assume themselves to be moral officers in prison, meting out punishment to fellow inmates who are in for rape and pedophiliac crimes. I mean...that's something I kinda don't mind. Since you're in prison already might as well right. Rapists and pedophiles should be on death sentence anyway.

Plus they are the more family orientated gangs around. One of their gang rules is that they are not allowed to use "motherfucker", "son of a bitch", "son of a whore" and stuff like that. No disrespecting mothers, family and all. Quite...umm endearing no?

Ha ha, the thing that made this my favourite gang so far is their determination. Apparently the Ñetas were being targeted in prison by another gang, and the enemy gang colluded with prison officers to have the then-Ñetas' gang leader killed in prison. Instead of being defeated, they dug through cell walls with a friggin' SPOON, reach the leader of the enemy gang, stabbed him 150 times, chopped him up into 84 pieces, smuggled it out of prison and send the pieces to the family and fellow gang members of that enemy gang.

I ain't even gonna think of how they manage to cut up a dead body and smuggle those bloody pieces out of prison without getting caught. If they can dig through cell walls with a SPOON...the possibilities are endless. End of story.

So...am currently in the phase of marathon-ing Gangland on youtube. I'm over the whole criminal shows thing (for now). Sigh sometimes I feel that my taste in shows is just plain weird.

Stress

2011-10-02T22:11:00.000+08:00

Stress level through the roof.

Breathe Meishan, breathe.

Johnny English

2011-10-01T21:56:00.003+08:00

Caught Johnny English with the boys on Friday, and I have to say, belly has impeccable timing. I was at my grandma's place till around 6pm-ish before I headed back home. The bus was juuuust turning into Tampines when belly called. "Eh want to watch Johnny English tonight not I'm booking out today."

If he were to call me when I'm already at home and rotting my lazy ass away, I don't think that I'll come out lor! Haha. So lucky timing we have there. Plus pres is like forever ready one, so err'body's down fo sum movie luvin y'all.

(Excuse the street accent. Am watching gangland on history channel now. Gang members all speak like this. Ha ha.)

Johnny English was fucking hilarious! Really worth the watch :) Something strike me though, Rowan Atkinson really aged a lot. I know it's nothing big since we grew up watching him...but yeah didn't strike me until then. Guess big ass movie screen in HD doesn't do much for concealing age.

The boys banned me from buying overpriced milo and refused my craving for popcorn and nachos :( So I only had iced lemon tea for the movie. Booooooooo.

Finished the movie at around 1am and walked back home. Belly's mum was super cute, she spotted us walking from afar and hid behind a tree, calling us only when we passed the tree.

Bel: Mom don't pretend to hide behind the tree we can see you.

LOL. Was intending go home after visiting 7-11 cause I had tuition the next day...but whaddayouknow. We ended up sitting under my block till past 3am talking about everything under the sun (or moon).

Ended up sleeping at close to 5am. Haizzz like my sleeping patterns aren't erratic enough. NEED TO SLEEP BEFORE 1230AM.

Need to drag my ass to do econs tomorrow. Lines galore. Abrupt and weird ending...now.

xx

Breakfast

2011-09-26T18:41:00.003+08:00

I used to be a skip-breakfast kinda girl but I've converted. Now, I diligently eat my breakfast (aka the first meal of the day, depending on what time I wake up ha ha ha) and have thus far, ventured from the norms of bread and jams to oats to cereal and now.... I have officially discovered the easiest, yummiest, fuss free breakfast anyone could have ever came up with.

Sidetrack a bit, yknow how oats need to be cooked? Well....sometimes if I'm very lazy I'd just add a little bit of hot water to soften them, add soy milk, honey, some milo powder, and eat it. Haha, sama sama one lah. Or sometimes I'd just cook them in huge batches, store them in the fridge and eat them over 3-4 days.

I know, disgusting right. But what to do. Laziness is inherently a part of me.

So....back to the easiest breakfast ever, Muesli and Yogurt. Mad tasty and nice please (esp for yogurt lovers. I loooove yogurt.)

So, if you are lazy like me but you still wanna stay healthy, eat this. Guarantee chop stamp nice.

Nostalgia

2011-09-25T15:55:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, a short meet up with the girls can bring back so much...nostalgic feelings of times when we were back in secondary school.

Met up at 201 for our zi char dinner. As usual, ah lee wore her standard attire for meet ups that are near the vicinity of Chai Chee. She's really the embodiment of 一套衣服走天下, lol. Co-incidentally, everyone wore white! Except for weiwei though cause she forsake meeting us on time for TV, so we outcast her. Haha.

Went to jalan jalan at the pasar malam before making our way to the Kampong Chai Chee for karaoke.

Funny (ummm..slightly freaky) incident happened there.

Weiwei was sitting at the end of the L-shaped sofa, with her back on the wall. Throughout the first...1.5hrs of our session, she kept feeling knocks(?) thuds(?) coming from the room beside ours. She assumed it was the people in the other room banging against the wall, so she returned the favour by constantly throwing her back on the wall periodically. Hahaha. The sight was quite amusing actually. Like halfway through a song she would feel the need to irritate them back and then just throw herself against the wall out of no where. Damn funny.

But, the banging didn't stop. So in order to escalate our "revenge", we decided to up the volume of super loud songs. The first being "DJ Got Us Falling In Love". And then 王妃. 恋爱ing. Can you imagine?? Srsly the volume was so fucking loud I think I was semi deaf when it ended. I wonder how people who frequent clubs can still have normal hearing.

But still, the banging didn't stop.

Pei decided to go to the bathroom in between our "revenge", and when she came back, she said something that freaked the fuck out of all of us.

Pei: Eh, 隔壁没有房间 leh.

WTF. Weiwei screamed and immediately abandoned her seat and flew to the other end of the sofa, and then someone else screamed, ger screamed, I screamed, everyone screamed. LOL it was such an epic moment I swear.

We continued singing though, despite the scare cause we were all brAvE_giRLz92. And that we still had another hour left on the session. Haha.

We had a very...diversified playlist though. Korean, English, Mandarin, Cantonese and...Hokkien. Lol we sang 爱 and 家后 (gey ao). I think the people who might have overheard our choice of songs would be very confused.

We all cabbed home and twas the end of a very comfortable and nostalgia-coated meet up. Reminds me of why we are such close friends after so long. We are all so comfortable in our own skins when we are with each other, so honest, so...at ease. Glad to have them, srsly :)

And now it's time for me to procrastinate doing my econs homework. Haizzzzzz.

Oh and I haven't been meeting the boys for so long cause of tuition+school+more tuition so...this coming friday, movie date? :)

HAIZ

2011-09-20T00:32:00.003+08:00

I am just abusing this space to sate my innate craving for talking to a unresponsive (or lack thereof) audience.

But,I really cannot get to sleep. For the past week I've been able to sleep only past 1am and it's really, really a very big enticement for me to skip my 8.30am mathematics lecture on Fridays when all the lecturer is going through....is differentiation. >:(

Tired like a zombie still cannot fall asleep. Woe is me.

And here's a narcissistic photo of myself cause...nothing. Just cause I like it.

Hope I fall asleep soon.

Dita Von Teese

2011-09-19T21:08:00.006+08:00

Dita Von Teese.

Have always been fascinated with the effort she puts into dressing herself up so, so immaculately. Her passion for everything burlesque and vintage. Her refined poise and mannerism, the air of old glamour and femininity she exudes whenever, whatever, she is doing. Her honesty and forthrightness in answering questions regarding being a burlesque dancer and being a stripper. Her charm.

Recently watched an clip of her and Marilyn Manson (when they were still together), being interviewed by Tom Green (who acted like an asshole). The way she handled Tom's crudeness with such class...it's alluring. Her charm, really...I am fixated.

How could you not fall in love with her? I guess I have enough space in my heart for 2 female crushes after all. Haha.

Y SO DIFFICULT ONE

2011-09-18T19:02:00.003+08:00

University economics really last warning. So confusing with a million fucking lines HOW TO DRAW LAH CCB

ARGH

Real

2011-09-18T14:46:00.003+08:00

Went out for a dinner date with ger last night. Before that, we were semi-rotting at her house cause she was transferring a ton of shows into my hard drive. (Yes, yes, I finally got round to getting one.)

Was watching a ton of random variety shows on her computer before we decided to drag our hungry asses out for dinner when I realized she has something called "realplayer".......*mentally preparing to get laughed at*.

Ya la I bu zhi dao shen me shi realplayer okay. I just use whatever program the video opens up with...?

Haha xia suay maximum. But I just downloaded it and it seems like I can also download youtube videos/other videos with realplayer.........?

I am enlightened.

Dreading to do my pbf homework but I guess the time's here.......:( Sian

Lucky

2011-09-10T02:19:00.001+08:00

I think I've used up all my luck for this year in just one day. Last Friday. Serious.

Waking up at 5.30am isn't really something my body is accustomed to, and so I was in a tired-like-hell-brain-on-screensaver-mode throughout maths lecture. I was fiddling with my phone throughout the lecture so I really have no idea how the following event happened but....

I lost my phone.

I was walking to the bus stop when I realised this, so I bolted back to the lecture theater trying to recover my lost phone. ( I left class <10minutes ago only leh!) But alas, it wasn't there anymore!! :( Knowing I have the tendency to think I've lost something when actually I just left it in some forgotten corner of my bag, I decided to ransack my bag in hopes of finding my phone there. BUT NO. Its not there.

I really, really lost my phone for good.

To be honest I wasn't exactly...as sad/worried/panicky at losing my phone as I thought I would be. I kept thinking that it was a sign for me to change my phone to an iphone. Serious. Especially when I board the bus to my grandma's place, the girl sitting in front of me was fiddling with her iphone. I was like "YES THIS IS A SIGN!!!" Lol I know lah a bit delusional.

But when I got to my grandma's place (at god forsaken Bukit Panjang),I still had to give it one last shot and call my own phone, in hopes of finding it.

*ring ring ringggg*
Male: Hello?

WHOA SOME DUDE JUST ANSWERED MY CALL!

And the following event was just...miraculously lucky. I asked him where he was, so I could find him and take back my phone. I really dreaded the thought of him still being in school cause I just came from there :( But turns out, he was at BUKIT PANJANG PLAZA. How fucking coincidental!!!!! That is like 10mins away from my grandma's place okay. Fucking ridiculously coincidental I swear.

So I arranged to meet him at starbucks, cabbed down, and took back my phone. Haha. He was a really nice dude! He went to call the first person in my inbox (which was Emerle) hoping that she can help me! So nice right. I should have asked for his name or something but I was too ecstatic at finding my phone (and just amazed at my luck) that I just kept saying "Thank you thank you thank youuuuu!!!!"

SHEER LUCK I TELL YOU, SHEER LUCK.
But my luck in the directions department still suck balls. Haha.

I was waiting for buses to go back to my grandma's place at the wrong bus stop for approximately 10mins when I realized it was the wrong bus stop. Then, I decided to walk to the next bus stop (which I assumed was the right one) and wasted another 5mins there before realizing it was the wrong one too. So I walked to the following bus stop (walked 3 bus stops' distance already) only to find it was also the wrong one. I am really freaking stupid. I was obviously on the wrong bus route. So like if the first bus stop is the wrong one, the following ones on the wrong bus route wouldn't be the right one, right? But I was too ~~stupid~~ overwhelmed with happiness to notice that.

And so at the 3rd bus stop, there was an LRT station beside it. Decided to ditch the bus and take a train back instead. But...okay. I cannot figure out which direction to take. *ashamed* But in my defense it's not because I suck at navigating okay!! The arrows for both directions are all pointing towards the same terminus! So like, huh??? Meaning there is no opposite direction for the trains?? I don't understand so I just went up take the train on my right.

But hey hey hey! It turned out to be the correct one! Looks like I still had a little bit of luck left in me that day. :)

So interesting event of the week: How I lost and recovered my phone in the most miraculous way ever. Lol.

On a side note...I am feeling heaps and leaps better than before. When I was phone-less, all of a sudden, nothing that was bothering me for that week seemed to matter anymore.

That feels awesome. :)

Flashbacks

2011-09-07T00:04:00.002+08:00

Through texts and phone calls, I finally feel slightly better. Just slightly.

I was starting to think that I really could forget everything and move on, until I was rudely reminded that all I am good at, is being an ostrich. Out of sight, out of mind. Out of mind for so long that I start to believe that I truly got over the scars and haunting memories of failed relationships, failed friendships. No Meishan, you haven't really put it all behind you yet.

Politeness, honesty and the value of the friendship. Which one outweighs which? Would you put honestly above all and tell the harsh truth, believing that the value of the friendship (or lack thereof) would cushion it? Or would you rather kick it all under the blanket of facade, acting like you're fine for the sake of...being polite? Did the value of our friendship not warrant the least bit of honesty from you? Even if it means salvaging the friendship? Well..apparently not.

Or was it my fault? That I am just one hell of a competitive bitch to the point of hatred and you not wanting to be around me? Or is this karma? For ditching friendships I weren't comfortable with. For refusing to befriend someone I deem to be harmful to me?

I've been through this thought process many times. Too many. Sometimes giving up halfway and forcing myself to think of other things because the bare truth is just too much to bear. Sometimes ending up confused and doubtful, because even if I tell myself something million times, I wouldn't believe it as much as if someone else told me instead.

I've stopped confiding, stopped opening up to topics as comfortably and frequently as I would like to. You want to know why? Because I'm sick of unknowingly stepping on your land mines. Touching on topics/doing things deemed as "restricted" in your eyes. I'm sick of being myself, only to learn that "myself" isn't what the friendship is looking for. Only to find that I'm as insignificant as the rock by the sidewalk that you don't think I deserve a heads-up for an impending break up somewhere down the road.

Someone told me to reflect, to think about things I might want to change about myself. What I would like to improve on.

I don't know how I feel about that.

Some people are brutally honest. They don't do sugarcoating. They just serve it up raw and untouched, into your fucking face. While most people find it hurtful, does this mean that they must stop being as brutally honest? Does it mean that they must sugarcoat everything they want to say? Sure, they could. For the sake of being more...socially acceptable. To make it easier to socialize with people cause they don't offend people with the first sentence of what they say. But ultimately, you cannot expect them to change their character.

So, who do they go to when their innermost self wants to say something brutally honest? Something unrefined and raw? Who do they go to?
Or are they forced to mask their truest words for the rest of their lives?

That is how I feel. I don't disagree with reflecting and changing if your ingrained character is something hideous. Like say....badmouthing. Lying. Being a third party. Laziness. Not being studious. Those are things you SHOULD change. Like entirely remove that segment from your character database. You should. No way around it.

But how about something...double-edged? Like being brutally honest. 1) You are honest. But 2) You may hurt people's feelings in the process. Or, being competitive? 1) You just want to better yourself. But 2) You may hurt people's feelings in the process.

Wanting to be the best spurs self-motivation. To work very hard towards what you want. This is entirely different from spurring self-motivation alongside ignoring your core values and morals to ruthlessly attain your goal despite the amount of people you have sabotage.

How do you tell an athlete to stop being so competitive? Cause it hurts the runner ups' feelings?

I can conform to being...adequately competitive. Like enough to motivate yourself, but not overboard till it makes people feel lousy about themselves. But to entirely remove that from my character? I don't even think it's possible.

Maybe like what G said. I cannot please everyone so...for people who expect me to change myself entirely for them...don't bother.

So issue #1 aside, what's up with being childish online? What's up with being a bitter bitch about it and advocating your thoughts on a mother public domain? What's with spreading a story in which you were in the wrong?

So maybe I've...scaled down the impact she made on me. So maybe I still stalk her. Come on, everyone stalks their "enemy" (I feel so childish saying that). Everyone does that. There's this unspoken "competition" that you want to do better than someone you dislike. Or maybe it's just me.

How do you deal with childish ignorant people?????

Sigh. Maybe like what P said, don't set up a platform for myself to get hurt.

Definitely no gains in that. But. Sigh....need to fight the urge off stalking my enemy. It's almost like a bittersweet thing. Bitter when you realize she's bitching about you and sweet when you realize she's being a total bitch but bitter again when you realize her bitchy friends are actually responding to her rants. But then again...new found friends are often eager to please each other. So whatever goes I guess. Like "Heyyya I'll gladly jump blindly onto your bandwagon of hate cause I want to fit in!" >>> to be spoken aloud in a slightly rhythmic-retarded voice.

Sigh.

I really do need to grow stronger mentally.

T: This world is endless to everything.. You just need to filter and know what is best for you.

I really, really need to grow stronger mentally. Or express my emotions more frequently to avoid too much negative thoughts erupting all at once towards a certain small, insignificant matter and end up in a pool of tears over a midnight phone call.

Haha. My pride's just too important. Or at least I need to start valuing my pride as important as it should be so that I don't give a shit about insignificant people.

Long long rant. If you bother to read till the end and is confused about what I'm talking about, in short....JC drama that is long overdue.

Laugh?

2011-09-01T16:25:00.005+08:00

My Econs lecturer is a total joker.

Random student: Why can't we use the extra money saved from X and use it to buy Y?
Teacher: Okay I get what you mean. That is called, your choice.

YOUR CHOICE.

Hahaha anyone else finds this funny?

Lol make the student sound so stupid.

And time passes really fast man. It's already nearing the end of the second week since I've started university. Still feels weird saying that I'm a uni student. I'm still in the mode of...pseudo-current JC student on a vacation. Dazed but not confused. I guess that's the only thing that is different. Different is good. Too much of a routine can be paralyzing to my social skills.

Which still suck balls by the way.

In crowded places I still stare at my phone pretending to text someone but all I actually type is a grocery list for my next trip to NTUC. Or watsons. Or just randomly type words and phrases.

University's a pretty...a pretty... a pretty interesting place to be in. Let's leave it at that for now.

Oh and out of boredom I went to take a look at allkpop just now. Apparently SNSD's jesicca's fans sent her a rice wreath to congratulate her for her drama thing-y (??).

A rice wreath with 10kg worth of rice.

If I were her fan, I would send her a O2 wreath. Don't know what O2 is? It's an oxygen wreath. Cause that's all they eat to stay so skinny.

LOL. Send her rice like she's going to eat it.

xxx

Laugh

2011-08-27T00:03:00.002+08:00

Was trawling through salad recipes cause I got bored with just butterhead lettuce + cherry tomatoes + soy sauce and tomato sauce dressing.

Really boring I know.

But back to topic, I came across the funniest thing that made me laughed out loud literally. Hahaha. One of the comments about the salad.

maggie March 13, 2010
YUMMY looking soft serve!
how do you think chocolate superfood (amazing grass) would taste in place of the cocoa???
i did that in Kristen’s CCB smoothie and it was amazing!

Hahahaha.

xxx

Slight

2011-08-21T13:52:00.002+08:00

Sakae sushi to celebrate my belated 19th with the boys. Wanted dim sum but pres could only make it around evening time. So.....sakae it is! Was craving for the fried tofu+sweet sauce thing anyway.

Super embarrassing thing that occurred (to me, who else can it happen to) at sakae. Wanted to use the computer to order for the tofu thing. I spent approximately 10 seconds trying to order food touch-screen style. *finger point point touch touch*

Until I spot the mouse sitting atop the box holding the chopsticks.

Sweet.

So major embarrassment aside, after we finished dinner, we went Tamp1 to walk off the sushi. Went into Times bookstore and my hatred for frogs was reaffirmed. I FUCKING HATE FROGS. Knn the toy version of it was so realistic looking!!! Crazy. And bel thought it was funny to suddenly place his hand on my shoulder. My heart literally dropped into my sushi-filled stomach because I thought that he was placing that stupid toy frog on me. Argh no amount of reiteration can echo how much I. Hate. Frogs.

Bought starbucks and went back to bel's place to rot.
1) Talk talk talk talk
2) Laugh laugh laugh
3) Lifted weights
4) Read the new Ikea catalogue
5) Bel's loser dance
6) My lack of arm muscles
7) Attempted to carry zack and pres
8) Watermelons. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

We all knocked out soon after and we would have continued sleeping through the night till god knows what time the next day if not for me waking up at 3.45am. Waking up bel is a ton of work so pres walked me home instead.

And so I will be starting school tomorrow.

Hello I am Meishan. Want some gum?

Want some gum??

GUM??????????

Anticipation

2011-08-19T03:53:00.003+08:00

Told myself that I'll convert my sleeping habits back to normal by this week. As in sleep before 12am. So far, not succeeding. Friday saturday sunday monday.

Monday and I'll finally start school. Like after so long of living in my comfort zone and significantly decreasing my contact with people, I have to face the fear of exposing myself to different people. Which really isn't a problem to me until a random conversation with T. Well..he made things sound a little bit different than I would imagine it to be. Not too bad to have a different perspective but then again it breeds this unknowing apprehension and fear of meeting people with fucked up experiences and then I'm like doomed to mix with around with all these people and what if I cannot stay true to myself and succumb to the influences around me and change into someone I wouldn't like to change into?

I like to stay in on the weekends. Go shopping alone. Finish reading 3/4 of my newly bought books and leaving 1/4 of it unread because I hate to finish a story I like too quickly. (E.g. Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer. I've about 5 more chapters to go and I cannot bear to finish the goddamn book. It's been like what, over a year already? I've re-read snippets of my favourite sections, finish watching the film, yet I cannot bear to finish reading the book. ARGH)

I don't like crowds. I don't really like parties (feel extremely awkward and uneasy). I don't fancy partying the night away. Not so much about the alcohol issue but more go the ambiance? A pub is much more comfortable for me. Well for one you can actually get a decent conversation going on. Never been drunk and wasted. Don't wish to be.

So how do I fit into a crowd full of party people if things are really the way T said?? What I got from the conversation was that the easiest way to make friends was to go "You got club? Wed ai mai?". Which makes my icebreaker methods a total joke in comparison cause I plan to either

1) Borrow stationery from the person beside me
2) Drop my pen and ask the person to help me pick it up (thereby creating conversation starter)
3) Pretend to be confused at what the lecturer is saying and double confirm with the person beside me
4) Just something normal

Wa boh kat teh clubbing wu si mi hoh leh. Li ai gao peng you, ki club, tia wu li eh peng you gong eh weh meh? Ying gup an neh dua xia, long zhong lim jiu, ma na eh sai hoh hoh seh seh gong weh liao gai dui bang? Si mm si tiong kim eh lang xuan peng you si ai hi kuan ai zai sat sat, ka na jin eh sai eh?

I'm guessing only ger and pei can decode the previous paragraph but if you can, you'd understand my...worry/frustration/complex thingy.

xx cross fingers and hope for the best man.

Happy 18th to me.

2011-08-14T23:05:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday to the girl who's forever 18 (me).

//Stashed the previous post in drafts cause some things are just too personal to be publicly moped over. Too open for comfort I reckon.

Alex Turner

2011-08-13T01:21:00.003+08:00

And so I can openly have a crush on Alex Turner now that he has broken up with fave girl in the whole wide world, Alexa Chung. :( It's a pity though, they look really good together.

If in any case you are wondering why I cannot have a crush on Alex when he was with Alexa...I just feel weird eye-candying someone's boyfriend. Celebrity or not, it just feels weird on my part.

Alex alexa alex alexa alexa alex alex.

Confused yet?

And once again my friends will question my taste in men cause so far, they have yet to agree with me about all the guys whom I consider handsome/attractive. I think only Alex Gaskarth made the cut.

What can I say...the passion and concentration and tension that you can see in their eyes when they are playing the guitar. The vein-y arms that are developed from playing the guitar. The messy hair. :( How to resist lol.

And then a certain gangster flavour in the way they do things is very attractive too. The fearless attitude, the lets-fuck-some-shit-up mentality. Something in me is just attracted to that.

I can see my girlfriends shaking their heads in disdain at my non-conventional attraction to specific guys. So in short, I am attracted to an ah beng who can play the guitar well. Unless the person has a big turn off issue ah, like say, having bad manners or something. Which is somehow contradicting cause I am attracted to the fuck-some-shit-up mentality.

Am I making sense? It's alright, nothing makes sense after 12.30am when I am tired as hell but not being able to fall asleep.

In short, I can openly have a crush on Alex Turner now that he's single.

I bet you look good on the dancefloor

2011-08-10T16:09:00.003+08:00

I'm usually more of a guitar person than a drums person.

But the drums on this is just epic. Even though the guitars are stunnin' too. Arctic Monkeys are one of the few bands that actually sound as awesome live as they do on track.

URGH

2011-08-10T12:27:00.003+08:00

What in the world..

Was browsing through gmarket when I chanced upon this shirt. Which sane person would actually spend money on this atrocious vile piece of clothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear if anyone were to wear this irl, I would seriously run away from the person. Okay maybe not run (too obvious, may cause said person to chase me) but brisk walk away instead.

Serious.

Bad spelling aside, I am cringing just at the sight of the one creature that should be abolished from the face of the earth. Madness. Immense hate for frogs.

Cool kid

2011-08-07T15:22:00.002+08:00

This would be a little post to remember my first cool night. Hahahaha or noob night, whatever you prefer.

So I haven't been doing the usual things my peers are doing post-graduation and post-18 years old. You know them cool kids, gettin' it down at clubs, partying the nights away, gettin' wasted and dance the night away.

............I'm just not into all that noise and fist pumping and alcohol. Not like them cool kids. Haha.

Okay but even though so, last night was my first time being at a bar! Not those lup sup bars (with China mama-sans), but a pretty legit atas bar!

I AM SLIGHTLY COOL NOW. Teehehe ^^

Hahahahaha okay this is a very pointless post about my boring life. Highlight of the week y'all.

Kids In Love

2011-08-02T20:52:00.007+08:00

Closed lips he was never one to kiss and tell,

Those trips in the summer never went so well

Young love was such dumb love

Call you what you want, it was still enough

And you're still, out of my reach

And you're still, all of the things that I want in my life

How can I ask you to leave me?

- Mayday Parade

Well, not so much on the last sentence but it feels pretty stupid to indulge in feeling like I'm 14 all over again over fleeting glimpses of the past.. Turning 19 in less than 2 weeks time. Makes me wonder what have I accomplished in all 19 years. Have I truly lived life according to carpe diem, which means "seize the day"? Have I loved so hard à la a James Patterson's Sam's Letters To Jennifer till the point of no regret? Have I indulged in something so crazy, so wild and so...free of society's boundaries that I can say I truly feel liberated?

So many questions, to which I know the answer to most would be negative. Too many reservations, too much unnecessary worrying, too selfish to just put myself out there and be liable for whatever potential hurt that may come my way. Too worried of what people might think, too afraid of how silly or ridiculous I might be perceived..

I hate to feel upset, and I don't think I am actually feeling upset. I am feeling...neutral. Neutral enough not to have an emotional range wider than a worm's. Neutral enough not to feel upset, nor truly feel happy with every passing day. Neutral enough that my emotions are stagnant. So stagnant, dengue can start breeding. ......Okay that was a fail attempt at a witty joke.

If I was asked what my problem is, I wouldn't even know what to say. Or where to start from. What DO I actually want? I want to feel happy. But neither am I upset in the first place so how do you return to the tangent, when you have not strayed away in the first place?

Is this post getting depressing? Cause I don't feel depressed at all, swear. It's just...haiya!!

Feeling ultra confused. Why do I seem to meet with an...age-identity crisis every time it's nearing my birthday!? This is not normal. Urgh.

Until I get better..xx

2011-07-31T15:59:00.004+08:00

Met up with ma homiez again on friday cause I have no social life. Hahaha.

The boys were early for once :O Went to walk around CS and TM to look for dragonball related stuff cause belly wants to buy a birthday gift for his army bro. Was pinning our hopes on Comics Connection but they don't carry anime stuff anymore :( The whole shop's filled with overrated super expensive k-pop related stuff. Anyone wants to buy a snsd yoona cushion for 50bucks? Lol.

Pres: Who would buy these stuff?

Me: Lonely boys.

Gave up on our search for dragonball cause it's not stocked up everywhere and the crowds on a friday night really is no joke. We were this close to shooting ourselves in that over-crowded mall. Went back to the jap restaurant at the swimming complex to settle our dinner. Well, me and belly's dinner to be exact. Pres was too full from whatever he just sat there and watch us eat (and play with toothpicks and chopsticks like a 3 yr old).

So..the rest of the night was pretty monotone and can be summarized in point form below.

1) Took a stroll at the park.

2) Belly did 7 pull-ups.

3) Sat under some random block and talk.

4) Belly's entertaining army life filled with bunk mates with nicknames like lucy (derived from aunty lucy lol)

5) His clubbing experience with Jonathan. He was adamant bout bringing us along to club the next time just to see Jon dance.

Me: But I don't like clubs leh.

Belly: Nevermind we go there see Jon dance only. He dance finish only we zao.

6) Talked about anything and everything.

7) Went to 7-11 to buy drinks.

8) Went under my block and continues talking till 130am.

And I am seriously aging man, after 12am only my body's on energy saving mode. All I did for the last hour was yawn and yawn, used the bottle of drink I bought to support my heavy head and yawn some more.

Spent the whole saturday sleeping my ass off and I spent my sunday (well, half of it anyway) watching jersey shore re-runs and incredible tales on xin.msn. Haha some ghost stories are really a bit lame. Or at least, the reenactment is super lame lah.

Oh and I decided to wiki Utt since he is the host of incredible tales. WTF CAN YOU GUESS HIS AGE???????

37! :O CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?

:O :O :O :O Shocking hor!!! (or maybe not cause I absolutely suck at age-gauging).

xxx

Harry Potter

2011-07-24T15:40:00.005+08:00

.....And so I caught Harry Potter! With belly and pres cause it's been ages since we hung out together.

Harry Potter was very nice! Okay granted that I didn't read the whole series (fyi the boys are hardcore HP fans lor they finished reading the whole book series), at least I made the effort to read the wiki page before we watch the movie ah. Haha. The movie was pretty enjoyable other than the fact that abel lim had to stifle his laughter at the most crucial parts and telling me the most ridiculous comments lah!!! Disturb my attempt at fully appreciating the last movie.

Case in point, he called Dumbledore a "mysterious fucker" when he met Harry in the limbo state. And that he laughed when 1) Voldy started getting physical with Harry cause it's very ridiculous that the dark lord has to punch someone when he has a wand and when 2) Harry decided to destroy the most powerful wand in the world by....breaking it into half. LOL

We got supper after the movie and went back to belly's crib to eat with his family. The rest of the night was pretty simple we just ate, watched running man together, my OCD took over and I cleaned up after the boys -.- and we just sat on the couch and talked till 4 in the morning.

Was attempting to braid my fringe up cause it's getting irritating.

Me: *braid braid braid* *looks at mirror* Oh my god I look horrid with my fringe up lah. *lets down fringe instead*

Belly: *looks at me* Whoa I'm not used to you looking normal.

Me: Huh? Why?

Belly: Cause you are always doing something funny to your hair.

Me: ..........

Took turns standing on the weighing scale with pres and making pres extremely uncomfortable by talking bout slightly M18 stuff LOL. And turns out he was just putting on an act cause for the whole night, he was taking Zach's banana plush toy and ~~seducing~~ attacking belly.

Pres: Oh yeah how do you like this (the banana) when it's in your mouth?

.........Closet M18 only someone. Cheyyyy hahahahaha. Okay in his defense he usually says the most inappropriate things without any ulterior motive. He doesn't mean them in that way at all lah...... I think. Hahahaha.

Boys sent me home at 4 in the morning and I slept like a pig cause I woke up at 4pm the next day. That's 12 hours of hibernation man.

Okay so in short I finally got round to hanging out with ma homies after so long. Twas an enjoyable night out :) And so I don't know how to do a proper ending so uhm...............

the supper was delicious? Haha. xxx

Obedient Wives Club

2011-07-19T11:10:00.005+08:00

Okay, so this is old news.

Read here and here if you want to know the full details of this club.

Obedient Wives Club, or OWC if you prefer, is a club that promotes wives to be subservient to their husbands, be at their every beck and call, and most importantly,"make love better than "first-class prostitutes" to solve familial problems".

WHOA WAIT UP THERE BRO. So you're saying making love better than a first-class prostitute will solve familial problems?

Obedient Wife: We would have enough money to buy milk powder for our infant if you didn't gamble it all away!
Husband: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING. THAT THIS IS ALL MY FAULT? *menacing stare*
Obedient Wife: No no sorry it's all my fault let's have sex now.

PROBLEM SOLVED.

Like this also can ah?

Can. Obviously, anything is possible as long as the wife can perform sexually comparable to a first class prostitute.

Quoting the literature professor (I wonder what kind of literature text he has been reading. Nothing related to women's rights I guess) who's in charge of the Singapore branch of OWC, "..we believe that obedient wives can avoid various detrimental social problems such as prostitution, divorce, gambling, domestic violence and others."

Why am I not surprised at the prowess of OWC solving various prevalent social problems.

1) Prostitution wouldn't be a problem anymore if you made your own wife THE prostitute.
2) Divorce would be out of the question. You are an obedient wife. LISTEN TO YOUR MAN.
3) Gambling? What gambling. Shut yo' mouth bitch. BE OBEDIENT. Now go lay on the bed and wait for me.
4) Domest.. *slap* BE OBEDIENT.

Well, the prowess of OWC doesn't stop here. Not only can it solve social problems, it can help shape and mould respectful, successful husbands. Wow!

"Before the man can be a good husband and leader, the wife has to first be obedient."

Seriously? Then I'm guessing your mother wasn't that fantastic in bed. Since your father turned out to be an incompetent parent by failing to instill in you say... MORALS AND ETHICS AND RESPECT FOR OTHERS?

So in short this is a very ridiculous club. You're saying that you need a female who is incapable of having her own opinion and give you copious amounts of sexual pleasure at the same time so that you'll feel good about yourself and be a responsible person? How about marrying a waterbottle instead.

Anyway, the latest update about the Singapore branch of the club is that it's not gaining any foothold locally. Apparently Singaporeans aren't all that interested in having/being an obedient ~~water bottle~~ wife.

I wonder why. Perhaps education and proper upbringing proved to be the downfall of OWC.

So to end off this post, this is the most epic statement released by the OWC's in-charge.

"Maybe we will change the name. OWC is too controversial. We can use a simpler name like 'Happy Family' or something,"

And to that an online passerby said:
"This club should be called DIRTY OLD MAN CLUB.."

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Destiny/Faith

2011-07-16T15:26:00.006+08:00

Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too

From wikipedia: Destiny refers to a predetermined course of events.

Lately, everyone seems to be caught up and busy with their lives. Everyone seems to know what they are doing...and somehow I guess that's what everybody secretly yearns for isn't it? To know the true meaning of what they are doing, to have a valid and justified reason for every step they take. To be in control of their destiny and course of life.

Which is an irony according to wikipedia. Destiny refers to a predetermined course of events. Predetermined. Meaning whatever effort you put into having even a strand of "control" over your destiny is, to put it nicely, futile (or fucking useless, if you may). Since everything is already pre-planned, you are then a mere pawn, unknowingly forced through the fixed order of things in life. As much as you fight to break out of the sequence of things, it's pointless. You are pretty much set for life.

This brings about another question.

Why do we even bother trying altering the course of our lives, contemplating decisions, going back and forth about our delusional senses, doubting and reaffirming our judgments?

As bleak as the post may sound up till now..I secretly believe with as much truth as destiny may contain, we all need a little faith in our hearts. The spiritual belief and reliance on a something else rather than ourselves.

We are still, humans after all. Having to shoulder the full responsibility and blame of our actions and choices..it can get a little overwhelming from time to time. Taking a little breather from all that obligations once in awhile is not wrong. I'm not saying you can hide away from the seeds you sow totally, but having a little faith in life to ease a little of that constant worrying about your actions and decisions do help. Like how the Spaniards put it, "que sera sera", meaning "whatever will be, will be". Takes off quite a bit of worrying if you ask me.

So after a streak of constant worrying and uncertainty.. I'm just gonna take a leap of faith and continue doing what I (strive to) do best. Not over-thinking, not over-delving into things, and just be contented as it is.

And for the one who gave me a topic to write on (like a primary school kid haha), whatever unforeseeable future you have, whatever Destiny may have in store for you, I hope you'll learn to see the good in things. I hope that whatever little you may choose to believe in, you can at least turn to faith to take a breather and not shoulder all the blame in the world. I know things are gonna turn out alright somehow, I just know it. And all you need is a little faith to believe in that too. :)

Come what may, come what may.

Sup

2011-07-15T11:19:00.001+08:00

Meishan meishan says:
WTF
A WHOLE BUNCH OF KOREANS
OUTSIDE MY SHOP
NAO

Geraldine says:
go outside and say annyeonghaseyo to them

Meishan meishan says:
HAHA ALL VERY UGLY LEH
ok la not ugly
just normal looking
hahahaha

Geraldine says:
then forget it alr.

Meishan meishan says:
ya i also think so
lagi reaffirm the fact that
the doctors in korea, very zai

Chao

2011-07-13T11:04:00.003+08:00

Chao outside motherfucker.

Random moment last 2 nights ago. Was watching peter chao's videos when my brother expressed his disdane about the high frequency of fucks that's being said. I dismissed his annoyance at my choice of youtube videos and continued watching.

When I was done, I said this to him "Eh open another fan leh sibei zhua now."

He replied "Open the fan? Wow your english is so good. See lah watch peter chao somemore lor!"

Me: HAHAHAHAHA *wheezing* HAHAHAHAHAHA I *gulps* can't believe I just said open the fan. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Bubble Boy

2011-07-11T19:54:00.005+08:00

Bubble Boy is my go-to cheer-me-up movie.

I feel like I've been living in a bubble of late. Very detached from my surroundings? Like I find myself disconnecting from my surroundings more often than I'd like to.

But I'm not complaining. Under-thinking is always better than over-thinking.

Funny incident happened a few days back. Was late for work so I decided to take a cab. The taxi driver looked a bit...shady? Like he had something to hide cause

1) His sitting position (when he was driving) was very odd. It's like placed his entire weight on his left side - odd no?
2) His driver's window has a curtain.
3) He uses the same leg to press the accelerator and brakes.

And so....I concluded that my taxi driver only had 1 leg. DON'T LAUGH OK. It seemed extremely logical to me back then!! Okay this was how I justified my...suspicions.

1) He only has one leg so he'll have to support his weight on the side of the body that has a leg. Lest he fails to balance his body.
2) To prevent drivers with higher vehicles (e.g. buses, trucks, vans...) to look into his driver's seat and find out that he only has 1 leg.
3) Self-explanatory.

PRETTY LOGICAL RIGHT??

I even told myself not to be shocked/worry about the safety of my life/secretly commend his determination to fight against the social stigma that handicapped people cannot earn a decent living without being shortchanged somehow/not to stare at his only leg too often in case he feels super self-conscious and I am making him feel worse by doing so.

Then I sent Pei a text:
"My taxi driver damn zai la he only has one leg then he still can drive!!!!"

But 5 seconds after I sent out that text.......................I saw the other leg.

*sheepish grin*

hAhAHaHAhaHa. Okay please do not assume that your taxi drivers have got only 1 leg just because they sit weirdly when they drive. Maybe it's more comfortable that way. LOL @ ME MAX.

Crap

2011-07-07T12:57:00.004+08:00

Tuition streak 3 days consecutively. Really is old already. I am on the peng-san-anytime mode whenever I reach home at 1030pm everyday urghhhhh.

And feeling tired like crap aside...Secondary 1 students nowadays really no joke. My cousin was asking me how to draw motherfucking electronic structure and electronic configuration of atoms. SECONDARY 1 SCIENCE.

She is learning how to draw

THIS ^.

WTF. I think back in secondary school, I've only learnt this when I was in secondary 3?? At this rate she might be doing partial fractions at sec 2 and memorizing Kreb's Cycle in sec 4. MADNESS.

Yum Cha

2011-07-04T15:55:00.007+08:00

Woke up early on a saturday (7am say whaaat!) to go yum cha at chinatown. Do not belittle those seemingly small portions of 3 piece dim sum per plate. MAD FULL WHEN I LEFT THERE OK.

Am thinking of going back there this coming saturday cause
1) Xiao long bao
2) Prawn and mango fritter
3) Custard dumpling
4) Egg tarts

Walau I feel damn hungry now just thinking about it!!! Damn it.

Since we started yum cha at 9ish..we were pretty much done by 1030am. Decided to jalan jalan but once again...1030am in the morning on a saturday at chinatown. Want to jalan also got nothing much to jalan.

T suggested to go some URA Centre museum cause he feels that I am very artistic and 很有艺术家的气质。Okay no. I was joking lah haha we were just damn bored.

If anyone has been to the museum before (it's beside Maxwell), you'll know that it is filled with miniature structures of various architectural designs from around the world. They even have this big ass map of Singapore in the same pattern! Like you can literally find your hdb flat lor! (I found tpjc cause the structure very ugly so easy to spot)

Case in point,

Quite cool right!

Okay funny incident of how I gl a museum person(?) early in the morning. This is a typical example of jiak pah boh tai ji zoh.

Since there were mannny miniature structures around, and they were not encased in glass boxes...my hands got a little too friendly with the displays. There was this one building from Wales, and the display was damn meticulously done please there were like mini tables and chairs with people sitting on it and stuff.

My hands befriended one lone table which was placed slightly askew from other tables (I suspect some other 18 year old did this). I took the table out from the building and placed it on some random surface, and asked T.

"You want to buy table?"

HAHAHA very childish I know but I cannot help it!! Quite fun what. So the museum person saw me doing this and she was like "Excuse me please do not touch the display" while walking towards me.

I took the table out from the building so obviously I had to put it back right (and aligned it properly cause I am very considerate lol)! So to the museum person it seemed that I was still touching the display even though she told me not to.

She was quite pissed off so she said rather curtly "Please do not touch the display. If you spoil anything we'll have to take down your particulars."

I was being gl so I replied her in a pseudo sympathetic voice "Huh really ah..wha like this then very troublesome hor *nods wisely*. Anyway where's this wales place ah?" She was super dulan already so she just replied "Somewhere in the UK lah"

HAHAHAHAHA.

Ok so if you ever go to the URA museum, do not attempt to sell miniature tables to your friends or help them aligned their miniature furniture.

Gonna end abruptly cause I don't know what else to say.

xxxx

Fear

2011-06-22T11:20:00.002+08:00

I just discovered another fear of mine.

Millipedes.

Wtf damn fucking disgusting lah super super super scary. The exterior is kinda black and shiny and...hard-ish but the underside is pink and all soft-ish. I can deal with small ones like <2 inches. But motherfucking long assed ones like 3 inches< walan eh it's almost on the same level as frogs already.

I was peacefully doing sudoku when a mother of a millipede decides to creep into the shop. We are talking at least 3 inches and above ok. Long and fleshy and very very extremely terrifying. And I swear that the millipede could understand human talk. Cause when I called pei in a state of extreme distress and I said "OMG the millipede is crawling across the shop!!!", the millipede had the nerve to switch course and CRAWLED TOWARDS ME.

That scheming little fucker. Hate millipedes.

And cause I couldn't kill the millipede, I had to use a piece of A4 paper to...scoop it out of the shop. Most terrifying thing besides walking past tanks of frogs at zi char stalls/fish shops.

So in short I just got terrorized by a pretty bold millipede.

You can approximate my level of boredom by seeing how significant a millipede attack is to me.
Haha. Ok I hate millipedes and frogs.

Eye-candy Failure

2011-06-20T22:53:00.002+08:00

Was on webcam-ing/video chatting (whatever it's called with pei) when she lent me her facebook account to browse (re: stalk) people.

You see, I have a tip to offer to everyone.

In any case when you're about to stalk your eye-candy's profile, and that eye-candy happens to be one that is very unique.......as in all your friends think that he is not handsome at all but you defiantly live in your own delusion that he is the most gorgeous male on earth...DON'T. Resist the temptation to press the button. RESIST IT. Cause you will regret it. The very minute you see his photo in a blown up, stationary state as compared to shy 2 second glimpses.....you will regret it. Your fantasy would be broken. No not broken, VAPORIZED would be a better word for it. Your fantasy will vaporize and....you will feel like a joke:(

Only pei has seen my failure. And I made her swear that she'll NEVER EVER EVER show anyone my failed eye-candy. Nobody should be given so much hope and placed on such a high pedestal, only to be pushed down to the bottomless pit of let down. Like pei. BAHAHAHAHA so I will not place anyone through the same ordeal.

And after I showed her my..."eye-candy", pei went on a rampage of facebook blind match-making. It was name after name after name of cute and handsome guys. That girl was bent on brain washing and re-calibrating my taste in men.

For now, I shall go mope in shame and disappointment I brought upon myself.

:( This seKret shall die with me. And pei. Hahaha.

Insecure

2011-06-20T15:04:00.003+08:00

A brief meet up with B recently has been eliciting a lot of self-conscious thoughts in my mind.

I have absolutely no idea, why someone would point out another person's insecurity out blatently and then try to mask it as some form of concern or...a passing statement. Different people have different insecurities, and just because you don't share the same insecurity doesn't mean the other person's insecurity is any less significant.

Whoa thats a lot of insecurities in a single paragraph. Haha.

Maybe you're feeling more secure now cause you have a someone who's completely smitten with you, reassuring you every single day that you're beautiful just the way you are, telling you how your eyes sparkle like Edward Cullen's skin under the sun, but that doesn't warrant you the right to make someone feel less pretty...right?

Perhaps it's just a careless slip of the tongue, an unintentional comment, or maybe just my sensitivity acting up. But I think one should always tread cautiously whenever commenting on appearance cause sometimes, the most innocent remark may be turn out to be the most hurtful words which bothers someone for days and days and dayssss. Everyone wants to take pride in their own appearance, but the constant berating and standardizing of the notion of beauty seems the biggest impediment for self-worth and confidence to be fulfilled within everyone.

......and I officially sound like some girl who needs a whole lotta self-love. Ok this is just an exception of openly displaying my insecurities. Not gonna happen again.

WTF

2011-06-15T19:49:00.006+08:00

In case you didn't know, I am absolutely terrified of frogs. I hate them. I can't look at them for more than 15 seconds. I can't even bear looking at PICTURES of frogs. They just...creep the fuck out of me.

Ya ya I know bel's gonna say, "Lizards and frogs are technically the same ya know." But my brain just doesn't process them the same way! Lizards = cute and squishy and sticky and I mean c'mon, that little fellow STICKS to the wall!! So cool can.

But frogs = My body is automatically on marathon mode.

So, here's reason number #23124 why frogs are disgusting and should be exterminated from the face of the Earth.

About once a week, frogs shed their skin. The process begins with the frog doing a lot of twisting, bending, and stretching to loosen the old skin. Then the frog pulls the skin over its head like a sweater and -- usually -- eats it.

WHAT IN THE FUCKING WORLD. It's like eating your own scabs leh. Wah piangggggggggggggg.

I am really hating classification of living things in the secondary 1 science text book.

Hush Harsh Hush

2011-06-15T12:15:00.002+08:00

This is the calming before the storm,
this absolution is always incomplete,
its always bittersweet.

Was up till 3am in the morning today, talking to G online. Sought advice pertaining to a certain ongoing issue which bothers me to no end (srsly I wna pull all my hair out and shoot myself) and I realise that I really, really suck at sugarcoating my words when it comes to confrontational situations.

My logic is that since you have to throw away all ego and fear and break all boundaries and comfort zones to confront something and be aggressive....might as well just don't mince words and say it as it is? Rather than you attempt to make candied fragments of your opinions and then it doesn't get across clearly.

Just a recalled version of an extract of our conversation which I thought was amusing.

G: But stuff like "I can change..blah blah" will definitely come out la. Don't say I didn't warn you. It's just normal relationship stuff.
Me: Then I'll reply "Pls don't. Don't have to change. Anyway it's already like this. Honestly, changing wouldn't make much of a difference leh."
G: Pls don't??? That is so bad
G: Like she want to change but you don't let her
Me: That was my attempt at softening my words!! I used please!

Hahaha. But all is well cause I saved up useful, tactful and kind phrases that might come in handy. Courtesy of G. I told him that it'll be the benchmark for the right.."soft" tone I'm suppose to adopt in tricky situations like this. I'll just compare whatever I want to say to his phrases, and then edit accordingly.

But right now...lets hope that I won't have to use them. *fingers crossed*

Addict

2011-06-15T00:54:00.003+08:00

I forgot how addictive late-night internet was.

1) Blog hopping like a kangaroo.
2) Activated my web chat for the first time in 2132434years.
3) Read through old web chat histories.

I haven't been sleeping before 12am. This is bad.

(/edit) Was reading though chat histories as per mentioned, and it brought back memories from a could-have-been-something...spark? Relationship? Well technically we weren't anything, but somehow we were? SO CONFUSING. But if things were to actually develop any further, pei wei ger would kill me. Belly and pres would then trample on my mutilated dead body. HAHAHA

Obsession

2011-06-14T14:39:00.005+08:00

I like McFly. I like Onew. I like Seungho. I like ATL. I like WTK. I like Kaká. I like Alexa Chung.

I like them like how I like arrowhead chips, dried mango, durian, mai ya tang, chicken, fries, air con, loose tops, skinny jeans, slippers, and any other tangible things in life.

Was blog hopping when I stumbled across a...(is there another word for psycho?) blog. Out of 10 posts, 9 would be about korean idols and her immense fascination/support/love for them. I mean, declaring your love for them is one thing lah (I am guilty of that also), but being OBSESSED is another. Whole time I was scrolling through her blog, my mind was repeating "Siao eh siao eh siao eh".

I don't understand how someone can build their entire...interest, money and spare energy/time on another human being. Especially when that human being is just another pretty face in the midst of 100000 other pretty faces in the media. And chances are, you'll never ever ever even come remotely close to befriending that person in real life.

When I hang out with my girls and we indulge in some occasional pretty boy crazy talk, we'd say delusional things like "Wha!! Last night I sleep on ong's chest leh his muscles damn shiok" or "Tmr I flying to taiwan leh" or "Onew just sent me ginseng from korea" or "Joong my husband leh". But we say it for the sake of fun! Girl talk kinda fun yknow. I don't think anyone of us actually meant what we said or have this secret master plan drawn up to realize that delusion.

If any idol actually sent ginseng to me, I am definitely not going to eat it. Not because it's precious or whatever, but that ginseng may be poisoned lor! So free to send me expensive chinese herbs ah. Siao! For all you know, those idols may actually be closet psychos. (Ahem Edison Chen?)

And....I don't think the girl is joking about her obsession towards her favourite idols. Like full out, 100% obsession. A bit scary actually.

So..welcome to the psyche of a obsessed fan girl. Most of most of her blog entries are like...:

#1. Oh how I miss SHINee so much. Please take me to South Korea and have Onew appear right in front of my eyes.
#2. Onew oppa!!! I love you so so so so much. Please stay safe ok! Hwaiting!! I know you'll do SM proud!! :)
#3. Oh yes!! Onew oppa is back in S.Korea!! I miss my boyboy so much! I need my daily dosage of love specially sealed and mailed from Korea! < 3
#4. I hope SM doesn't tire out SHINee..Especially Onew!! He's been looking so tired and sleepy! I don't want my Onew to become a walking zombie!! :(

SIAO BOH.
SIAO BOH.
SIAO BOH.

Siao hor!! It's totally normal to marvel at their talents/looks/whatever. We all have our own indulgences. But there's a fine line between marvelling and...being psycho-obsessed (à la Michael Jackson's fans killing themselves when MJ passed away).

The wonders of the human brain. Hahaha.

Quid Pro Quo

2011-06-12T05:37:00.007+08:00

Playing the text message version of Quid Pro Quo at 5.40am in the morning.

It's a pretty good timing to play the game, granted that I am sleep deprived, tired as hell, brain dead and having insomnia all at the same time. Makes being honest easier, cause you don't have to think that much. No holds barred.

And I had to google "no holds barred" cause my brain is on primitive mode. Haha.

But of course, you must still play it with a trustworthy friend la. If not all your seKRets not safe. Very ugly.

Oh ya and just in case you want to play quid pro quo,

Quid pro quo = From the Latin meaning "what for what"
So basically it's like an exchange of favours? But since we could only do it through text, our favours are just a barrage of random questions.

E.g. why do you work so hard after A's.

Being totally honest about how I really really feel deep down is kinda liberating. Not that I lie all the time lah. But it's not everyday when people go beyond accepting the facade of seeming calmness to ask how you really feel about certain issues.

Most just accept the pretense cause it's easier than actually giving a fuck.

2011-06-08T15:05:00.003+08:00

Geraldine says:
help me think of japanese kind of pre dinner activities
Meishan meishan says:
get them to form groups
see who can test the radiation level of the dishes the fastest
Geraldine says:
hahahaha dont cb ah

Memory

2011-06-08T11:18:00.008+08:00

I have had abysmal memory since...forever. I cannot remember names/numbers well (until now I can only rmbr pei and wei's one cause they have like repetitive numerical sequences which are very easy to memorize), I cannot remember directions, I cannot remember where I placed something 3 seconds ago, I cannot remember what I need to do/buy.

In secondary school, I'd alwaaaays place my wallet on the table/chair/whatever and walk off. And I'd completely forget that I left my wallet behind. Wei got so irritated by this habit that she'd hide my wallet and then when I finally realise it has gone missing (like when I wna buy smth) and panic, then she'll return it to me. After lecturing me. Haha.

This year, (I think) that my memory has dipped even further leh. Which is just sad cause it's not very good to begin with.

Example #1.
I specifically tell myself last night to bring a new box of tissue to work. I reminded myself again last night. Again, when I woke up. When I was blow drying my hair. When I was tying my hair. When I was eating breakfast.

I realise I forgot to take a new box of tissue when I was on the bus to work.

Example #2.
I told myself umpteen times when I was eating breakfast, to bring some lined paper to work. I got kinda sian drawing lines on plain A4 paper already.

I realise I have no lined paper just 15 minutes ago.

Example #3.
My missing bank book is still nowhere to be found. How do you lose a bankbook anyway!!! And it was like my 4th time bringing it out to update lor. Mad sian.

Seriously. What will happen when I am 80. Ok maybe 75 lah very difficult to have long life with the persistant sweltering weather, lol. How to have better memoryyyyyyyyyyy.

Pres

2011-06-07T00:19:00.006+08:00

So for as long as I could remember, I've always hated sorting out pictures on my laptop because my thumbnails wouldn't show me a preview of the photo like this.

Instead, it'll look like this.

Except that it's in the green-blue, mountain form. HOW TO SORT PICS LIKE THIS. Have to manually click every picture, view it in some other window, then decide how to sort it. Crazy time wasting. And I guarantee your blood will boil 3 minutes into sorting pictures like this, especially when they are all named 1300045657576_2323.jpg

And so this is why I love Preston Lim to death. He solved this motherfucking problem. Over msn. Anyone who's even attempted to teach me something technologically related online will understand what a mother genius pres is. Seriously.

Preston 林诗聪ツ OoOoOoO says:
you now picture manager?
Meishan says:
i have no idea what talking you
i using my pictiure?
Preston 林诗聪ツ OoOoOoO says:
you dont have the picture manager?
and what is your OS
Meishan says:
huh?!? what is Os even??
Preston 林诗聪ツ OoOoOoO says:
hmm...OS is called
operating system
= windows xp or windows vista or windows 7

^ is an example of how..dismal and pathetic my IT knowledge is.

And so fast forward to how he managed to solve my problem!!!

Preston 林诗聪ツ OoOoOoO says:
go to your folder
with your photos inside
whatnot
Meishan says:
uh huh
Preston 林诗聪ツ OoOoOoO says:
click
organize
Meishan says:
uh huh!
Preston 林诗聪ツ OoOoOoO says:
can ah
Meishan says:
can!
Preston 林诗聪ツ OoOoOoO says:
and search options view tab
Meishan says:
yes!!!! CAN!!!!!!!
Preston 林诗聪ツ OoOoOoO says:
uncheck
always show icons never thumbnails
make sure no tick
Preston 林诗聪ツ OoOoOoO says:
ah can?
Meishan says:
OMFG YOU ARE A GENIUS
CAN
CAN
CAN

(Notice the increasing excitement. Cannot help it man.)

AND DENG DENG DENG DENGGGGGG PRESTON SOLVED THE PROBLEM FOR ME.

I am not going to get angry at his "Spare me your life story"-s and "I will smash your face"-s because this humongouslyfanfuckingtastic favour he did me.

Really really really love him to tiny, grain-like bits and pieces.

Obscure

2011-06-06T23:34:00.003+08:00

First time I'm online in a gazillion million years and no one, no one that I'd even be slightly interested in engaging in a decent, maximum 10 sentences conversation is online.

This is just sad. :( Spent my time blocking contacts instead. Hahahaha

(edit/) okay I retract that back. I am talking to bff and pei now. Haha guess this isnt too bad.

Jelly Belly

2011-06-06T14:17:00.006+08:00

If I could personify bel's alter ego, it would be hands down, HIMYM's Barney Stinson.

This is the 10th year (if my memory hasn't failed me) we've known each other and you are really one of my most treasured friends!! Although you may seem frivolous most of the time to others, I know I can count on you whenever I need some good ol' honest opinion and advice. Plus, you give the best encouragement (same goes to pres so don't jealous). Haha.

Through plubbies, moobles and what not, through rejecting my hand-hugs/fist-hugs until I annoy you into giving in to me, through always reminding me to brush my teeth before I get in the lift, through late night suppers+h2h talks, through awkward study session with clingy girls (HAHAHA), through midnight birthday celebrations, though exam stress, through lousy boys I've met, through sparkles and lantern lighting, through...everything, I'm glad you're there. :)

Ok this is getting very mushy and I am not good at mushy stuff. So enjoy your 19th in camp, look forward to booking out on fri, and I love you very much. xoxoxoxo

P.S/ A joke for you. Virtual present.
Barney: I met a girl last night. So perky and full of life and not at all fake.
Ted: You're talking about her boobs, right?
Barney: C. And that wasn't Spanish, that was cup size. What up!

Hahahaha happy 19th belly!

Wake Up Call

2011-06-03T11:09:00.005+08:00

*Last night*
Me: Eh when you wake up call me ok! I want to go and jog.
Ger: Okay.

*7.00am*
Ger: Hello eh wake up already!
Me: (obviously still sleeping but still want to fake an energetic voice) Ya ya I know haha I am awake liao!!!
Me: (put down phone immediately sleep)

*7.45am*
Ger: Hello eh you wake up already not!
Me: (Fake energetic voice part 2) Haha ya ya I wake up already la!! Don't worry!
Ger: No you don't fake. Wake up open the door and walk to cheng siang's house and say hi to his mother.
Me: *slightly awake* Hahaha simi sai la!!!
(Alyssa in the background): Ask her to go to the toilet and on the tap sound for you to hear.
Ger: OKAY! Wake up now walk to the toilet. I want to hear the tap water sound.
Me: WalauuuUUUUuuuUUuuUuUUu. Okay okay okayyyyy

THIS IS THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAKE UP CALL EVER. I am still amazed by how they came up with these methods. Haha this actually made my rather dreadful and mundane morning.

And just a random thought, it's very good to have a handsome neighbour who likes to parade in his home topless. This means me can have free show. Teehehehehehe.

Driftwood

2011-05-30T15:38:00.006+08:00

drift·wood Noun /ˈdriftˌwo͝od/
Pieces of wood that are floating on the sea or have been washed ashore

When failing to achieve consensus, when things around you are ephemeral, when fleeting conversations leave you dazed and confused, when variation takes place, when everything is intangible, when...you feel alone.

You will feel like a driftwood.

Drifting in the big vast ocean, drifting to the the sounds of waves which come, and go. Drifting towards or away from an unknown destination, vulnerable and susceptible. Used but discarded. What was once palpable, turns ethereal.

In times of need in comfort and solace, in times of confusion and distress.
Not asking who you would turn to, but who will be there for you.

Would you?

aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.

Dreams

2011-05-30T11:19:00.003+08:00

I've been having extremely weird dreams recently. The emotions I felt in my dreams were strong enough to jolt me out of dreamland even.

Anyone knows how to decipher dreams? LOL

I remember that the most extreme one was that I dreamt that I was having this major fight with my mum. Serious shouting/screaming/tears kinda fight. I was filled with so much anger that it jolted me back to reality at 6am in the morning. Reality came with the excess emotional baggage I carried in my dreams. Seriously I woke up feeling emotionally drained, exhausted (I assume it's from all the shouting and screaming), angry, sad and....confused.

Never told anyone about this dream cause my sub-conscious mind is slightly wonky. (E.g. The day I saw my crush having light stubble around his chin, that very night I dreamt of him having a fully grown longer-and-nicer-than-Osama's beard)

But the frequency of these strange and very very emotionally-charged dreams are getting me worried.

xxxx

Tell-Tale Heart

2011-05-27T11:01:00.002+08:00

Heads up: This is going to be one long wordy-ass post that will bore your eye sockets to death.

Left work earlier to meet pei to hand in the remaining documents for school. Can't believe that I'll be starting school this coming Aug!

Feeling apprehensive + nervous + slightly excited at the thought of meeting new people and making new friends. I know, I know, it sounds exactly like what a sec 1 kid would say. But I've grown to be comfortable around minimal people and just the thought of putting yourself out there, making yourself susceptible to nasty people, having to probe through the unknown terrain of strangers and new characters...eh if I have the choice I'd really really NOT do it.

Ex-friends who turned out to be petty and malicious, long-time frienD who turned out to be one back-stabbing motherfucker (URGHHHHH CEK GEK MAX!!!!). I'd like to think that the occasional ignorant characters I've met haven't affected me much 'cept to shake up my judgement a little bit. But lets face it. Ever since those incidents and a albeit short streak of bad judgements made, there's this incessant fear that many, if not all, of my future friends-to-be would be the same. They would turn out to be childish and narrow-minded.

Ok Meishan, DON'T JUMP THE GUN ON YOUR FUTURE FRIENDS. PLEASE.

Aiya but there's just that doubt ever since those incidents. It's very pointless to mule over insignificant people. Ok ok block those nasty thoughts!!!!!!!!1111 (lol @ the self-conflicting conversation I'm having with myself)

And then there is the issue of comfort zone. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't been hanging out with people <25 enough ever since I start work. In case you don't know everyone here calls me 小妹. I haven't heard that since lower secondary so go figure whats the mean age of my colleagues here. Haha. But ya!!! I don't want to appear un-fun and anti-social leh. But then that would compromise my comfort zone and force me to step out and....*gulps air* socialize.

I'm bad with anything new. New technology, new games, new names, new addresses, new people. I am thinking very hard now how I met my close friends in the first place but I'm guessing I wasn't as withdrawn last time. Before the daunting fact occurred to me that people can indeed exceed all expectations to be vile and scheming.

So how??

I'll do just fine right? *fingers crossed* Ok I'll just rant out all the worries that have been bugging me and hopefully I'll feel better. Get my blood sugar levels pumpin' and I'll be out of my comfort zone in a quickie. Yesssss yes yes. Ok stop the self-hypnosis now.

Okay, so now everything's pretty much done and done. Self-debating was relieving.

xxxxx

2011-05-25T16:11:00.002+08:00

Twas a long and (slightly) agonizing day.

What I did today.
1) Stoned.
2) Stoned somemore.
3) Decided to sit outside cause the aircon was very cold.
4) Finally got round to reading Cradle And All by James Patterson.
5) Stoned for a very long period of time.

Y NO CUSTOMERS.

I am craving for min jiang kueh ever since ger implanted that image into my brain. Inception neo.

Slow

2011-05-23T14:09:00.006+08:00

Geraldine says:
anw!!!!! 2pm is at sentosa now
Meishan meishan says:
o.o? now 2.10 leh why sentosa 10mins later one
Geraldine says:
2pm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meishan meishansays:
ya la now 2.10pm!!!!!
Geraldine says:
HAHAHAHHA NO I MEAN
Meishan meishansays:
ok 2.06pm my comp time lag
Geraldine says:
BIG BANG 2NE1 2PM 2AM OMG
Meishan meishan says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA OH I SEE

My brain has been failing me a little more than usual lately.

And if you're wondering why I'd double my screen name, it's because I haven't figured out how to change my screen name using hotmail-msn. Not purposely one ok. I not that narcissistic.

Frenzy

2011-05-20T14:46:00.003+08:00

I really shouldn't be this happy over the wave-goodbye-thing but it might become a daily thing!! 3 days in a row WHAT. UP.

And if the overly thrilled side of me hasn't compromised my analytical skills, he looks kinda...prepared to wave goodbye to me leh. And so I tell myself that I am not the only one looking forward to the (hopefully) daily goodbyes + cute smile.

v(^_^)v

Watched Bones yesterday and if anyone even knows what I'm talking about, I'm kinda hoping that the 3-day expiry date when my universe becomes right side up again doesn't arrive.

I kinda enjoy...this.

Jersey

2011-05-19T16:26:00.004+08:00

I have a secret obsession with watching reality shows on an obscenely high frequency. And this kinda escalated with the fact that I've got cable.

Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane, Giuliana and Bill, Jersey Shore...I can watch re-runs of them all day long.

Ok, so back to obsessions. I find myself being unable to tear away from the screen whenever JWoww (Jenni from Jersey Shore) appears. Initially I was kinda like "Meh" about her cause she has up-to-chin-in-your-face fake boobs. But after too many weekends spent watching Jersey Shore re-runs, I find her extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely gorgeous.

Seriously.

Hot bod, pretty face, well her boobs could be smaller but aiya she looks super hot with them anyway.

I am obsessed with Jwoww.

I know I know...quite the contrast to my ultimate girl-crush Alexa Chung but really I cannot stop myself from admiring her face whenever she's on tv lah!!!

RIGHT!?!?!?!?! So pretty right!!!!!

And the last picture is kinda a :O cause Sammi looks like some glam old Hollywood actress and Snooki looks kinda alluring with that understated sexiness.

But then who'd notice so much when I can notice is Jenni looking gorgeous as hell.

Teehehehehe xxx

Glxy Sprkl

2011-05-18T14:28:00.009+08:00

If I could show you how my thoughts and feelings were to look like now, they'd probably look something like.......

...This.

And I am not even joking. It's just a wave of happiness, hopefulness, shyness, feeling extremely excited with just a tinge of doubt and uncertainty. Hehehehehe I am quite enthralled by the whole happening of it actually.

I think for once, I might have a serious eye-candy thingy going on with someone that my friends would actually approve of (lol at the whole reject papaya incident).

Usually I cannot be bothered with eye-candying people around me cause for one, they are actually real. And anything real will have an ugly side to it. Finding out about that ugly side just pretty much spoils the whole...fantasy? I prefer my eye-candy to remain perfect and untainted. I mean, its nothing serious anyway, why make it so realistic? Knowing that your eye-candy is actually a total douche irl kinda ruins the magic I guess.

Which is why it's better off eye-candying an idol or someone who's totally unattainable and impossible to meet! Cause even if you know that he's a douche, the pure impossibility of you knowing him compensates for it. Plus you're from totally different worlds, so you don't really care if he's a jerk anyway. Face nice can already. Right?

But when it's an actual actual eye-candy, deep down, you have this flicker of hope that someday you might actually get together and if he turns out to be an actual jerk, it's actually kinda crushing.

Am I making sense? Or am I just the only one over-analysing the whole eye-candy situation? :O

OKAY I digress too much already. Back onto him!!!

HE WAVED AT ME SAYING GOODBYE WHEN HE WAS GOING HOME!!!!

I think my heart did backflips when he did that.

Plus, he totally meant to smile at me lah!!!! Hehehe ^_^

After he was out of sight I started to blush. Like fo' real ears burning cheeks flushed kinda blush. I've never had such an encounter before so I feel it's paramount to announce it to the whole world. Hahaha.

Me: Okay I know it's very stupid and maybe I haven't been seeing new guys for a verrrrrry long time but...the one cute guy at my work just waved goodbye to me!!!!!!! Hehehehehe!!

Pei: Lol! At least you still have that interest ah. Not bad not bad!
Ger: Lol good what! Hahaha flutter flutter heart.

AYEEEEEEEEEE okay so now I have a (serious) eyecandy. My 2nd (serious) eyecandy in all 18 years of my life. And he is older (major +point)!!!!!!!!

I feel like I'm 14 all over again.

v(*^.^*)v

Ardour

2011-05-16T11:26:00.002+08:00

Friday night was spent with the boyz and surprisingly enough, we didn't end up having dinner at 10pm at some nearby coffee shop (which we have the tendency to do so).

Wanted to dine at Din Tai Fung but the queue was motherfucking long and I h8 queuing up for food. I can never understand how people are willing to queue up for like 30mins to dine at a restaurant/buy bubble tea/eat whatever. Unless it's really damn nice and orgasmic and you reaaaaaally cannot get it anywhere else lah. If not just waste of time seriously.

Okay so we settled for Putien (And I can see ger giggling now cause whnvr we cannot decide on where to eat I'd just say go to putien hahaha).

Ordered quite a bit for 3 people cause the waitress kept asking me "你有没有来过我们这边吃？你知不知道我们事物的分量？".

Some 4.90/pc bun that bel ordered was super delicious la!!!! It's like an upgraded version of kong bah bao. Cept that the bao is fried till crispy golden brown and the kong bah is sliced thinly + drenched in some damn nice sauce. Plus they even provided us with plastic gloves so that we can eat using our hands without dirtying them. Thoughtful right.

Went back to bel's place cause his mama cooked dessert! Fried banana thingy with coffee ice cream damnnn nice. Felt extremely sleepy around 11pm (old is me) so I went to bel's room to sleep. Pres covered me in 2 extra blankets + 3 pillows + 2 bolsters while I was asleep. >:( Childish.

Jonah crept stealthily into the room (while I was sleeping) to take his blanket but still gave me a scare cause I think a pillow fell on me or smth but I got chua dio when I saw a black figure standing in front of me.

Wanted to wake up at 1230am but failed miserably cause actual time was 130am.

Boys were playing comp games all night.

Bel: Preston why you always choose those damn sexy characters one.
Pres: (trying to defend himself lol) No lor S____(character's name)is damn strong lah! Her penetration level is damn high.
Whole room: HahAHAHAHAhahAHAHahaHaha.
Bel: My penetration level is also damn high.

Haha. Boys will always be boys.

Stall Me

2011-05-10T11:02:00.004+08:00

My life has been hectic x2 ever since school exams are coming round the corner. Tuition rate x2 and I have to babysit my bro during his mugging sessions...tired to ze bones.

Amazingly, I managed to squeeze out some energy to go shopping hehehe. Shopping with pei is THE BEST. You know why?

*at Forever21*
Cashier: So the bill is $65.00.
Me: Okay. *whips out my inferior blue POSB card which I've yet to upgrade to a debit card*
Pei: EH WAIT!! I GOT THIS CREDIT CARD. CAN GET 10% OFF. *waves card to cashier* Can right??
Cashier: Ya. Can.

*at New Look*
Me: *Preparing to pay for a discounted jeans which was originally $69.90 but was retailing at $34.90*
Pei: EH WAIT!! I GOT ANOTHER CREDIT CARD. CAN GET 5% DISCOUNT HERE. *waves card to cashier* Can right??
Cashier: Ya. Can.

Hahahaha walau go everywhere also got discount one!!!! So shiok!!! Definitely asking her out on shopping sprees already lor. Ahem ahem but I'm not all that money conscious ok. She's super good at spotting clothes at random shops that she know I'll like and good at psycho-ing me into buying more feminine clothes. <<< Characteristics of good shopping partner.

Lol and the day of discounted shopping didn't end there. We went to kovan (noob is me cause it's my first time there) to have dinner. Pei wanted to bring me to this nice...restaurant? But when we got there it was closed! (Either that or the shop 倒闭 alr haha).

So we decided to settle for Domino's.
Sidetracking abit, part of the reason why I agreed on Domino's was cause pei told me that there is a handsome guy there. Which turned out to be untrue :(

Ok so back to Domino's. Before we ordered, the aunty gave us this pamphlet coupon thingy and we decided on 1 pizza + 1.5ml Green tea + Bread sticks(?) for $20.00.
But, I don't know how, the aunty gave us 1 pizza + 1.5ml Green tea for $14.00.
WHAT. UP.
Dinner also got discount!!! Although no bread sticks la..but $6 off?!!! Nvm lah I go home eat my gardenia bread also the same.

The most expensive thing of the day turned out to be...a durian. Haha we ordered just 1 durian after being stuffed with pizza. SHIOKNESS MAXIMUM. So there we were, sitting beside the durian stall, drinking green tea from styrofoam cups and eating durians in a very unglam manner.

I think thats why we didn't get a discount for the durian.

Haha but all in all, shopping+h2h talks+my very nonsensical and random jokes = awesome evening.

P.S/ I am feeling very guilty for not meeting up with my boyzzzz for so long. :((( Din Tai Fung this fri after my work okay? :)))

Change.

2011-05-04T12:39:00.004+08:00

Change is constant, no doubt.

But is change always good?

If change is uncalled for, is it worth the risk to jump into something totally new and start feeling our way through the hazardous darkness filled with uncertainty and insecurity?

Surely, a more balanced situation would definitely be a better option for many. But balanced is not equivalent to removing some of the most intelligent and significant figures that are holding us together.

Nothing is perfect. But in comparison to those geographically close to us, I say that we are damn well near perfection.

In the midst of debating and contemplation, anger and complaints, passion and ardour, why don't we step back and take a look around us. Be grateful for the education we have. Be grateful for the roof over our heads. The affordable health care system. The low unemployment rate.

If change is uncalled for in a certain area of our lives, would you be willing to venture into the unbeknownst territory of "change"?

Drive?

2011-04-27T13:06:00.003+08:00

Was texting pei about her driving lessons cause I have been contemplating about finally getting my lazy ass started! So many friends of mine have already taken up driving lessons.. Makes me feel compelled to learn how to drive asap! (Plus I have this seKRet fantasy that if I drove my brother to school, I will be a very cool sis. Lol.)

And then pei replied this..
Pei: You don't learn lah. You will post danger to the public. Haha!

:(

Anyway, I was feeling hungry yesterday night after brushing my teeth. I was really hungry, and after much self debating, I decided to have a light snack. I wanted to eat some pork sausages out of the fridge without cooking them (oh the hassle), but I've just survived eating half a rotten apple in the morning. So I decided against the uncooked sausages. I sat down on my kitchen floor beside my fridge, ate a slice of cheese, and enjoyed a midnight light snack with myself.

Feels pretty good to be sitting down in the middle of the kitchen doing nothing.

Gave my dad a scare when he found me sitting in the middle of the kitchen eating cheese.

Cold pork sausages would be a good compliment to my cheese though. Haha.

Listen.

2011-04-26T14:10:00.004+08:00

When people tell me their problems, I try my best to listen (unless it's something I'm very against and I've alr told you 50 times what my opinion is e.g A bad boyfriend, a worthless friend..etc.).

Even if the problem isn't something I've necessarily had experienced before, I try my best to empathise with you. And I try my best to give you concern/advice/whatever that will make you feel better.

But how many people will reciprocate this act?

I'm not trying to sound needy here (ok maybe a abit haha) but it feels kinda..sucky to say the least, to be dismissed whenever I try to tell someone something.

Yes, the problem might not be applicable to you.
Yes, you might not have the capability to help me.
Yes, you may not have had the same experience before.

But that doesn't mean that you can brazenly show nonchalance? A little concern wouldn't hurt right.

uRgH so mad at being ignored.

And I've been ranting quite a lot recently..which is good/bad?

Good cause I don't take it out on something that has feelings.
Bad cause I sound like some naggy old woman.

Ok. Abruptly ending....now.

A day without electricity.

2011-04-25T11:29:00.002+08:00

Not fun. Not fun at all.

The weather was at least 35deg and no electricity = no fan. Plus I was alone at home.

I called geraldine first, since we were texting.
Me: Walau 我的家停电！！
Ger: Huh then how? You want to talk to my father about it?
Me: No need lah I going to call my mother. I just inform you first. In case I die alone at home then you know why.

Haha and after I implanted the slightest idea that I might die alone at home, I was convinced that I AM going to die. << self inception.

I called my mama up and she instructed me to check the main electricity box thing. And *gulps* told me to push up any switch that was down.

Me: Huh walau 我会不会被电死 sia!!
Mama: Won't lah. Are your hands wet?
Me: Huh eh abit leh. Ok you wait I wear the oven mitten to protect myself.

I actually think that it was quite clever of me leh. Haha like so smart right!! Take the oven mitten to cut off any potential electricity being conducted through my body.

And after multiple attempts to revive the electricity in my home, there.....still wasn't any electricity.

My mama wanted me to check the electricity meter thing at the corridor (the ones that you share with your neighbour) and fix the switch. But she was afraid that I might just shut off my neighbour's electricity by mistake. Which is a highly probable assumption lah cause I am highly accident-prone.

Mama called my dad and since he was nearby, he decided to come home to rescue his only daughter.

The waiting period was torturous.
The sun was blazing, the living room was humid as hell, I became slightly delirious as I started talking to myself while folding a paper fan, and... sending out highly distressed texts to my friends.

Example of distressed text #1
To pei:
My house stop electricity!!!! Then no one at home and I try to push back the main switch without being electrocuted but still got no electricity. I waiting for my dad to come home now. :(( I am going to die!!!!!

And please don't judge me based on my abysmal failure in maintaining my composure during a short circuit. Hahahaha.

My dad was taking quite a bit of time so I decided to call him.
Me: Pa!!!!!!!! Where are you now!!!!!!!!!
Dad: At bedok reservoir. Why? I am on my way already.
Me: I am going to dieeeeeeeeee!!!!! I am dying!!!!!!!!
Dad: Hahaha okay I am coming back already.
Me: Lei ga lui yew sei!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (your daughter is dying)

And...when he reached home he got the electricity back in less than 5 minutes.

This concludes the day I lived without electricity.

P.S/ I know this isn't something that calls for commemorating. But I am currently really bored.

P.P.S/ I need to learn how to fix (?) the electricity the next time it decides to abandon me.

2011-04-21T12:15:00.002+08:00

I have been packing infants'/babies' clothes for almost 3 days now.

First 2 days, my raging maternal instincts (damn those cutesy tiny little outfits!!!) were doomed to shrivel and die alone within me because I had no one to share it with :(

But today was different.

My boss (female) and her colleague (also female) came down to help me pack the clothes, and the subsequent conversations that developed were...quite amusing!

Boss: Oh my goodness!!! Look at this!! (points to cutesy tiny outfit #1) Eh, you faster give birth to another baby leh! So can buy this.
Female colleague: You mad ah! Another baby...whaaaa. Cannot!!
Boss: Eh dear there's something called Epidural ma!

Hahahaha. Okay maybe it isn't as amusing as I thought it should be.

On a random note, I find it highly disturbing to see a "KEEP AWAY FROM FIRE" label on a newborn's shirt. o.O

Anyway, I was watching the news yesterday about an animal activist group saving about 500 dogs from being slaughtered as food in China. Apparently it raised quite a commotion regarding the consumption of dog meat.

Then it got me thinking...humans eat pork, chicken, seafood, beef, lamb, veal, venison (deer meat), and most people (excluding vegetarians) think it's alright to do so. So, why be outraged at the consumption of dog meat then? It's just another meat, no?

People wouldn't think twice about consuming poultry or seafood because these animals were mass-reared/hunted FOR consumption. It's almost like.. "I would consume chicken meat cause after all, the chickens were reared with the sole purpose of killing it for food anyway. But I wouldn't eat dog meat, cause their main purpose is to be a domestic pet."

It got me thinking.. If dogs (or any other animal) were to be mass-reared for consumption, would people still be as fervent in protecting them as before?

I'm not saying we should all start setting up dog-farms and eat dog meat, cause it would be unnecessary to go out of your way to legalise the consumption of another animal.

But it's just a..food for thought? (no pun intended)

2011-04-20T11:50:00.002+08:00

I cannot stand politics.

Office politics, school politics, friendship politics...It's tiring just thinking about it.

The countless attempts to undermine someone, the incessant complaining/bitching sessions in which the content seems to always revolve around the same topic, the over-sensitivity that warps one's mindset to think that every action is a malicious act...

Don't you feel exhausted just imagining the energy put into accomplishing these "feats" (if you would call it)?

It is sad to realise that the dark abyss of politics and constant competition stems from something so...innocent. A new work environment. A new colleague. A new friend. And as we grow to be comfortable in that new situation, somehow the scale of politics seem to morph into a monstrosity that eats us inside out. Pitting everyone against each other. Everyone is trying to prove their worth, trying to outshine their counterparts.

This spans across all social circles, across ages, and the list goes on.

Few can survive unscathed and even fewer can remain an outsider. Even if you are not a willing participant, somehow or another the situation seems to suck every surrounding individual into it. Some feel obliged to go along with it cause their friends are involved, some feel that they should be involved for fear of being left out, and some are just in it unknowingly.

Distressing.

No wonder world peace is such an...utopia. It's a social perfection that is idealistic.

This is a pointless post about my rants.

On a totally unrelated and random note, I think that the click clack sound of high heels is quite irritating.

2011-04-11T18:04:00.007+08:00

18 years of my life, and I have never related a hair cut to anything remotely near life changing.

But despite the fact that I look like a 15 year old boy... (I never thought I'd say this), this hair cut made me realize how nice and precious my close friends are!!

Preston went on a rampage on how the shorter fringe will allow him to look straight into my eyes and not be blinded by my beauty although he will still tear a little. <<< Haha this is cheesy max but it did made me smile.

Peiyun called me immediately when I sent her a long and emotional message about how upset I was. Haha immediate phone calls make me feel very important and cared about.

Weixin comforted me by reassuring me..>4 times (Hahaha I am needy like that) that my hair grows at an exceptional speed ad it'll grow out someday.

Geraldine went all philosophical on me and sent me an extremely inspiring, motivating and encouraging message. WHOAaAaAa you cannot imagine my shock man. Haha it was extremely helpful lah.

And...Abel. Who made me even more upset than I was before sending me this.

It'll grow out. I was just joking. We'll still love you the same even if you go botak.

Hahaha how awesomely sweet are my friends!?!?!? I love them to bits and pieces lah. From the bottom of my miao xiao miao xiao heart. I know in many ways I am still a big kid who refuses to grow up and be mature about certain issues. But when the time comes when I just want to act like a 13 year old angsty teen, I'm glad my close friends are there for me. :)

Went out for dinner with bel + pres + bel's bro at bedok 85 and I can always count on them to make my tummy stuffed (and happy). A list of what we ordered...
1) Bak Chor Mee (1 bowl for each person)
2) Char Kuey Tiao
3) Fried Carrot Cake
4) Orh Lua
5) Satay
6) Chicken Wings

And everything was up sized cause we were hungry like that. The boys drank beer while the minor and I sipped sugar cane and we eventually bought some durians home (despite their unwillingness) cause I was craving for some.

Celebrated pres's supeR belated birthday together and I recall a funny conversation with bel.

*Abel preparing 19 candles*
Me: Eh don't put 19. Put either 18 or 20. Cause 19 not auspicious ah.
Abel: Aiya ok la put one big candle only then.
Bel's bro: So preston's only 10?
Me: That's his mental age.
Everyone except pres: BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

We all decided that 9 Apr shall be pres's mental birthday. Next year he'll be 11. Haha ok really quite funny ah.

I feel loved.

Maybe I should get bad hair cuts more frequently? HAHAHA no no I'm just joking. My old and frailing heart wouldn't be able to take it then.

2011-04-07T10:33:00.004+08:00

Jaldermolt's house calling at 10.27am. *rejects*
Jaldermolt's mobile calling at 10.28am *rejects*

And luckily there aren't any subsequent phone calls.

Some people just don't get it one leh!!! If I'm not talking to you for >5 months and every time you try to call me I'll reject your calls and every time you text me I either give short, nonchalant replies or just don't reply.....doesn't that say something??

I am not even trying to hint yknow. It's more of like blatantly shoving it into your face but at the same time leaving you a 楼梯 to 自己走下台. But it seems that the stairs thing isn't working out.

I'm desperately trying to avoid saying things outright cause if I really do so, it's not gonna be pretty. It will be blunt and hurting and I won't be apologetic about it cause you're the one who pushed things this far. I am never good with packaging my words when I'm all riled up and angry, so I hope that things will never get to that stage and that you'll realise asap how irritating you are and back the fuck off.

I....
1) don't want you as a friend anymore.
2) want you to stop calling me/ texting me cause I'm not gonna reply and you're being extremely irritating.
3) don't want you as a friend anymore.
4) don't want you as an entity in my life.
5) want you to gtfo of my life.
6) did I mention I don't want you as a friend anymore?

SO YA. GET YOUR ACT TGT AND STOP IRRITATING ME.

2011-04-05T11:35:00.005+08:00

A recent event got me thinking if I'm left with a dismal tinge of interest in mending newly formed relationships (say like..1-2 years?).

Perhaps I have been too accustomed to ditching it halfway if a problem arises/sense smth wrong/sense a hint of betrayal that I don't really see the need to put in any effort to solve things.

It got me thinking...if I were to keep this up, wouldn't this prevent any future probable relationships from taking place? Like given my cynical view about all newly forged relationships, I would be embarking with the pre-conception that if anything goes wrong, I'll abandon the friendship immediately. Not a very good mental state of mind right. But somehow... I don't know how to let down my guard just a little bit just to make my life a bit more adventurous. Hahaha.

But it dawned on me that all of the friendships that I have given up on were those forged in the last 2 years. Maybe the fengshui wasn't to my advantage in the friendship dept. HAHAHA or maybe it's just a passing phase of 2 years of lousy friends. I'm not saying allll 2 years were lousy lah cause obviously I have good friends like becky. But yeah jc suxxXXxxxXX.

Okay I digress. Since this is a slightly sad+hopeless post, I shall continue with the negative mood and blog about my pet peeves. Well, some of them are weird, but they aren't called pet peeves for nothing righttt.

1) People whistling in public. Esp people whistling TUNES omg stfu!!!!!!!!!! I don't need a walking (broken) recorder ok? I know sharing is caring but I can really do without it. "猫叫春都比你好听" <<< Something I saw on tv HAhahaHAhaH

2) Any incessant noise. Especially those produced by a combination of air+gap between your teeth+loads of saliva+one very active tongue. Eg. Hissing, tsk tsk noises, the sound uncles make when they try to pick food out if the gaps in their teeth, etc.

3) Girls wearing short shorts such that half their butt cheeks are hanging out.

4) Spelling mistakes/mispronounced words/bad grammar. Unless it's on purpose to imitate someone or to entertain, I am pretty anal about proper English.

5) Overly emotional people. People who like to frequently post stuff like "Do you ever stop to think about us?" or "I spend my nights thinking about us.." HAIYO JUST GET OVER IT ALR LA!!! Unless he took your money+body+youth, I don't see why it is so hard trying to get over someone who doesn't appreciate you.

6) Nonchalant/indifferent text replies. ESP when I texted you with so much zeal :(

7) Girls who are overly 淑女. Like...speaking in hushed tones/giggling/giving other girls the once-over cause you think you embody the epitome of femininity and all other females are inferior.

8) PDA. Get a room please.

9)
10)

Okay thats all for now. I'm pretty sure there are more but I just cannot think of them cause the heat + zero customer = brain dead. Belly and pres on fri to celebrate pres's very very belated birthday. Japanese cuisine. Sushi Tei or Sakae or the chapalang jap stall at the swimming complex? HmMmM.

Sushi Tei sounds promising.

2011-04-01T11:56:00.002+08:00

I never knew perfection til
I heard you speak, and now it kills me
Just to hear you say the simple things
Now waking up is hard to do
And sleeping is impossible too
Everything is reminding me of you
What can I do?

It’s not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break…

A fool to let you slip away
I chase you just to hear you say
You’re scared and that you think that I’m insane

The city look so nice from here
Pity I can’t see it clearly
While you’re standing there, it disappears
It disappears

It’s not right, not OK
Say the word it should say

Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break

Saw you sitting all alone
You’re fragile and you’re cold, but that’s all right
Life these days is getting rough
They’ve knocked you down and beat you up
But it’s just a rollercoaster anyway, yeah

It’s not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?

I cannot relate to most love songs, especially chinese ones.

Most of the time, the sadness is over-exaggerated from heartbroken-but-I-will-move-on to I-want-to-die-I-cannot-live-without-you. I feel even sadder than I need to after listening to such songs and I generally abstain from it. Apart from the occasional karaoke sessions with the 必点情歌s like 安静，你不知道的事，借口，Forever Love blah blah...

But this song, yeah. I wouldn't exactly call it a love song? It's a more relatable song about the pysche of a heartbroken person. Or me at least (when I used to be hrtbrkn). So I find it kinda nice? Haha at least nice enough for me to indulge in and reminisce past relationships.

Okay talking bout love and stuff is really not my element. I feel extremely awkward in doing so. Haha.

But anyway on a eggciting note, BELLY IS BACK TODAY!!!!! Not shureee exactly what time but he's like 1 car park away. So nvm lah I'll head over when he calls. Hehe.

And..Saturday is approaching and I feel extremely nervous and dreadful. Like the anticipation for incessant questions bout results/studies/future is not exactly what I'm looking forward to at 10am in the morning. Deep down I know I'll have to face it somehow and although it's not really a big deal (to me), it just kinda sucks when people are so hard up bout scrutinizing the tiniest detail bout the whole process when you're ready to move on. It' like stfu c'mon mannnnn can we talk bout smth else?? I h8 having to receive comments that come with a hint of pity like "Ohh...never mind la...", yknow, stuff like that. I know how much effort I've put in and I certainly don't need you to decipher (note: assume) my attitude towards it and self-invitingly "comfort" me. Or perhaps I'm just over-analyzing things like I always do. Maybe everyone will be too tired/smoked out by the incense that they'll lay off the topic. Or...maybe to them it's almost customary to talk bout it cuz if not there'll be nth to talk bout?

URGHHHH nvm I'll jst suck it up and get it over and done with. At most I'll just teh gong and buang all questions all the way! HahaHaHaA.

2011-03-26T23:15:00.003+08:00

Mblaq's Seungho.

Weirdly, I didn't find him attractive or handsome or slightly cute before at all. (My fave was Mir). But after watching an interview of him confessing that he likes to eat non-stop and has a slight tummy...I am vaguely attracted to him. And that vague attraction sort of morphed into a full blown fixation.

I, am weird.

2011-03-26T22:24:00.006+08:00

Photos in chronological order since after A's.

Waking up at 7am to drag my lazy ass down to the stadium to jog.

Me in my little corner where I laze around all day in front of the telly.

Random snapshots with the most annoying + endearing little brother anyone can have.

Scheming mozzie (note: SINGULAR). The lone ranger bit me multiple times on both arms. Failed to kill this lil' fu...I should really cut back on my cursing.

xxx.

2011-03-25T13:15:00.004+08:00

Not trying to exaggerate how much I am obsessed with Alexa Chung but............I have a folder (pretty neat collection, if I say so myself) of photos and videos of her on my computer, my handphone....and maybe a scaled-down size folder in my ipod.

That's not exactly obsession....right?

Hahahaha who am I kidding. I just knocked myself out for 2 hours straight, browsing through fuckyeahalexachung and just pouring over all her photos. And that's because I've watched all available It's on with Alexa Chung videos online :(((((

I love her!!!!!!!!! Haha ok this is starting to get a teeny weeny bit freaky.

And on a totally random note, it gets on my nerves whenever I read posts whereby the person tries to pull off a total reverse psychology stunt on you? Like...idk how to elaborate but after reading the whole post, you sort of get a subliminal message that they're trying to praise themselves? Or maybe I'm just reading too in between the lines. Haha.

On yet another totally random note, ytd was the worst bus ride EVER. The guy (read: annoying ass) sitting behind me decided to play around with his pen knife! I saw through the reflection from the side window (i am spYkidZ) that he was fiddling with it, attempting to slice through a wrapped package, so I just didn't give it a second thought. But that was until there was this incessant *tack tack tack tack.....tAAAaaaAAackkkKKkk* sound. And it continued through the 15min bus ride non-stop. He was done slicing through the package and just thought that it'd be entertaining to play with the noisy pen knife lor!! Nbcb. It was just...pure irritating. I had my music switched on but since he was sitting directly behind me, I could still hear that irritating sound! ARGH. I half-wanted to turn around and ask him "excuse me are you done with your pen knife?" but I fear that he might be a total psycho (he looks a lil' like one) and stab me in my throat if I offended him. << Evidence of watching too much criminal minds.

Okay what a meaningless post. xXx

2011-03-24T16:49:00.004+08:00

I'd like to think that my laziness is slightly above average........but reality is cruel :(

A few points to illustrate my laziness would be

1) My toenails are in a total dire state. 1/2 of the nail polish had already came off since.... Okay. Let's just say that I painted them just before CNY day 1. Hahaha. So you try to conjure up the current (sad) situation of my toenails. I didn't even bother repainting them for the wedding cause I figured the awkwardness of me in dress + heels is enough to divert attention away from my embarrassing toenails.

Abel is gonna kill me if he comes back seeing this.

"Walau! Why your toenails half fuck one!! Go and repaint them like a girl please."

:( DON'T JUDGE ME LA OK! IT'S JUST...ok I very lazy to do so lah. Haiya!!!

2) My.........hehehe my (hand)nails are on their way to looking like my toenails. SighHHHhHHhh why on earth did I think that snappy sorbet would look good on my nails??? Ok I confess. They did look great! 'Cept that the colour is kinda obvious now that 1/3 and 1/4 chunks of them have fallen out.....whoOoPsie.

OK OK I GNA REPAINT THEM SOON. SOON!!!

3) I am having constipation since morning and I cannot be bothered to eat a banana. I think it's retribution for sending a photo of me shitting to pei ytd. Hahahaha hey cmon! You need to be comfortable enough with your close friends to be able to do that ok! OKAY!!!

4) I really wanna go and pee now. But the goddam toilet is on the second floor!!! I mean...granted that I can take the lift instead of stairs but.....eh, will pin tua one leh.

5).......I shall not gross out anymore people with my washroom seKrets. Haha.

p.s/ I am really craving for cai tao kueh at the usual supper place!!! And chicken bulgogi from the food court opp concord hotel. And ah balling's almond soup from bedok 85. And fried fish soup and wanton mee from king george. And fish and chips from clementi's hawker centre. And omg I WANT TO GO TIONG BARUH AND EAT MY PRAWN SOUP NOODLES. WALAU. And this ulu shop at katong that sells awesomE rice dumpling with the softest, melt in your mouth sam zam bah and a generous helping of chestnut!!!!!!

:(((((((((((((((((((( Anyone wna acc me to all these places now?? I'll marry you. REally. (ok not joking only but I will give you a very significant amount of my heart. Haha.)

HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY

2011-03-21T11:00:00.002+08:00

Reminiscing talks with weiwei and ah lee have triggered a truckload of memories of how fun secondary school life/JC school life used to be. Or how fun I used to be? Haha.

Secondary 1. I hanged out with ah lee the most. We used to go to each others' house almost EVERY SINGLE WEEKDAY. She'd come over to my place and we'd..... I cannot remember what we did but we always managed to lepak from noon till like 7-8pm ish. Then I'll walk her over to the OCBC bank building place where her 2nd sis used to work at. Or I'd go over to her place and we'd watch horror films on tv. Eat lunch cooked by her mama. Or go downstairs to "hone" our netball skills with our then minimal knowledge of the sport. But most of the time...we'd just talk. Haha. Lunch would always and forever be shrooms burger and cheese fries at the now-tampines 1-but-used-to-be-some-chapalang-building-with-kfc. I even remember catching pei's bro with his gf there lor! :O

Secondary 2. We were in separate classes, I went to 2E6 instead. This was when I grew very close to weiwei. We met over...sweet and sour sauce from macs (This story very long and random). But most memorable memories would be those during rainy days. We'd use to RUN from the old tampines campus to the chapalang building! And when we stood too close to the main traffic light and the bus drove too close + fast, we'd be drenched with a minuscule tsunami of dirty long kang water. HahAhahA. And then when we reached the chapalang building, we'd go to the washroom on the second floor and attempt to dry ourselves under the single hand dryer available. I think we were allergic to umbrellas then. Haha funny thing is we'd never fall sick from these rain escapades! Amazeballz.

Secondary 3. Still same class with weiwei. But the school's at bedok campus now! We were always always ALWAYS almost late. Forever running for the 7.20 gate closing time. But the most memorable incident would be when we got caught skipping school. We were already late when we reached bedok mrt station...so we kindA decided to skip lessons for that day. BUT we couldn't hold in our anticipation for some science exam results, so we decided to creep into school during recess time instead. With the whole morning to kill, we decided to go to parkway at like..8am. Most of the shops were closed, and we just went BONKERS. We were skipping down shiny mall aisles, taking photos with our faces plastered against glass panels, and even sNeaking into those 10-min hair cut QB booths and pretending that we're hairdressers -___- But obviously in the end, we got caught by cai lao lao and were sentenced to canteen duty (aka cleaning the canteen tables after recess with dirty rags) for quite some time.

Secondary 4. Secondary 4 was drama-mama year for me man. It was break up - make up year for me and the ex boyfriend. And when we finally made up, I went into smitten/obsessed/reliant gf mode and neglected the girls which led to a (quite) hurting conversation but at least straightened things out. O's were impending and I went out studying with ger at tmart macs/201 macs most of the time. She insisted on sitting outside tmart macs on certain days cause she could catch a glimpse of some handsome guy from east spring sec. HahahahaA!

JC1. The only thing worth mentioning is that JH AND I HELD HANDS AND WALKED UP THE TPJC SIDE GATE STAIRS LIKE 4 FRIGGIN' TIMES. It was (still is) the single best accomplishment I did at tpjc. Whenever I feel like I shouldn't be exaggerating the significance of this event...I remind myself of how he looks and I'm like the mother of this year's PSLE/O's/A's top scorer - SIBEI PROUD. Maybe thats why I remain single till now. The event (read: miracle) have used up ALLL my love luck from this life, the next life, and the next next life. Haha. I was never the girl with a ton of handsome guy friends and most of my best guy friends aren't SUPER handsome either. I find extremely good looking boys very...distracting and stressful. Like there's this glass ceiling of perfection that you have to attain around them? So as to be "compatible". Okay, I digressed.

JC2. SUCKS. Haha nothing worth mentioning here lah!!!! (defensive mode). Spent a huge amount of leisure time with ger and her house (so convenient) and grew a lot closer to each other through my JC years. Many times when I was on the verge of breaking down/giving up, she was always there to put things in perspective and weigh options and show me how stupid the decision I was about to make was. But....on a happier note. We went on late night dates at Changi Airport T3 quite frequently (attempting to catch SHINee at the airport!?!? Amazed at male snsd fans with pink highlights in their hair..errRRrr... and then cre8ting C-related jokes all night at polar cafe) and I did a couple of cartwheels across the platform connecting T3 and T1/2 which resulted in ultimate embarrassment in front of some tourists. I think that was the last fun thing I did.

But of course not forgetting my beloved ~PEI~ whose house I've grew to be so comfortable with. Throughout my secondary school years and JC years, I've been to pei's place for like...a million times. Haha. It's like whenever you wanna hang out with her, it'll be "Eh pei I gng over now ok." And then she'll reply "Ok can.", and then when I step through the door, immediately turn left to the kitchen's toilet to wash my feet and then proceed out to ransack her fridge for drinks/food before going into her computer room to hang out. Her most common phrase when we were sec 1/2 was "不要推那个椅子 out of 那个 carpet. 我的爸爸不喜欢." Hahaha serious!! She was super anal bout the wheels of the chair not crossing/bordering along the carpet edges. Memories with pei consists of mainly... scoldings+h2h talks which never fail to make me more mature each time. (omg!! so wei da~~ Sob sob :'( ). Haha she's really a 大姐 that you can depend and count on man.

This was one long-assed post. Looking back, I used to be fun leh!! What happened!?!? Haha I guess I am still kinda fun now...fun with caution? I'm only fun when I'm with people I'm close to. I guess this comes along with age? Everyone grows a little caution and get their guard a little high up for fear of having to deal with the emotional setback that comes with failures. When we were young, we couldn't be bothered to do so simply because we couldn't fully comprehend the hurt. Or that our brains weren't fully developed so we cannot recall anything that happened in the morning once mid-day approaches. Haha. But with comprehension comes caution, and with caution comes guard. And with guard...well. Everyone's a little more complicated than they used to be. Does this make sense? Oh well. Am I still fun? 0.O I want to be.

2011-03-16T16:03:00.002+08:00

Many significant events happened and I haven't got the time to note them down before my memory fails me. So...I shall put them in lists. Easier to account for. (Chey chey like important only ahahaha)

1) Belly is gone. To India. Till 1st Apr. :(((((((((( It's some army training thing, so I guess it's a good experience? Haha besides, this is considered small case compared to the impending 40 days at Australia. Madness! Had dinner with his family + close friends before sending him off. Hugged him reEEeally tight before he went through the departure hall gate custom thing. :( Stay safe ok we love you deep deep too.

2) PRESTON CUT HIS HAIR. O.O And now I find myself staring at his head more often than I should. Haha I genuinely sincerely think that you look superbly adorable now ok! Although your friends said that you look like Emma Watson.......................................................................buahahahahaha no lah really very cute ok.

3) I sent my close primary school friend a birthday text on 15 March. And it wasn't any old text ok, it was in Chinese and filled with so much passion lor. Turns out....her birthday was on 15 May. OMG PAISEH UNTIL WANT TO DIE. I've never done this before!! And to make things worse...it was my primary school friend leh! I think she hates me. Haha if some primary school friend did this to me, I'd probably be like.......

"Knn know me for 10 years alr still cannot remember my birthday!! Limbu somemore used glitter pens to write my biography nicely in hopes that you'll be thoughtful enough to double check before you wish me.............."

BUT that's just me lah. Angstygal_w/sorethroat@hotmail. Haha, I was thick-skinned enough to tell her "Haha! Nvm lah you save it first. Then May you take out and read again." Hahaha omggg. I'll remember her birthday 4life alr. Confirm.

4) I turned on the wrong tap in the bathroom. Instead of the hose's tap, I turned on the shower tap. And I friggin' ambushed myself with an unanticipated blast of cold water from above. Haha cannot believe I did this. IN MY OWN HOME. I always have this fear of doing this at my friends' place, but I never expected that it'll occur in my own home. Hahahaha stupid max.

I guess thats it! Pretty good for a even-a-snail-is-more-interesting-than-you life.

Hahahaha.

2011-03-16T15:38:00.003+08:00

First up, Happy 19th Birthday my dearest Preston!!!

^ is a teal coloured cake which I googled specially for you. I couldn't find cakes shaped like a bamboo/bonsai so...it'll suffice ah. Haha. You've been an extremely weird encounter (meowing on our first meeting??), but an extremely good friend too. Listening to my rants and giving me the weirdest encouragement texts, annoying me at the most ridiculous timings and for just being yourself, you've been awesome :) I can't promise you a bubble tea shop filled with weird concoctions like..bitter gourd-cucumber, or whatever, but we'll go out for a feast when bel comes back. Ok? (So stop haunting me to meet you after tuition alr!!!!). And feast = me forgoing my diet. So that deserves a bit of credit. I don't just do that for anyone ok! So to end things off, you know we love you deep down inside! Stay the same (although a lil' maturity wouldn't hurt), and don't stop inventing awesome quotes.

I fear nothing.....but the possibility of you speaking normally. Enjoy! :)